Call of the Lakes

Last night I attended a farewell gathering for some fellow Humphreyites who (much like myself) had ventured out to the policy world of Washington, D.C., fully doe-eyed and greener than Shinnecock. Well, as a few of us have discovered, the land of 10,000 lobbyists is not nearly as satisfying a place to live as the land of 10,000 lakes. A fellow New Englander was also in attendance and so turned to me to explain this indescribable allure of the Twin Cities and its environs. While I could come up with some concrete examples of its brilliance, I must have sounded like a blathering idiot. Cause for the most part, in my comparison between D.C. and the T.C., tangible factors did not really play into it. It's more the general "feel" of the place and the people. The general laid back vibe versus the hyper-competitive, "Let's-define-you-by-your-job" vibe. The general "It's okay for you not to shave your legs" sentiment versus "Dear, God, she's not wearing nylons" sentiment. But, there are certainly some tangibles, as well. And here they are:

• The Electric Fetus and Cheapo and Treehouse Records and Let It Be and, and ... vs. Revolution Records and Smash!: This one is no contest. From my old apartment, I could walk to any of the above Minneapolis stores. While Rev. Records is walkable, Smash! certainly isn't, and their combined selection wouldn't fit into one of Cheapo's long bins. I do owe it to Smash! for my recent acquisition of Throwing Muses' untitled debut CD, for which I'll be forever grateful, but still -- no contest. And they're located in Georgetown. Ick.

• The Walker and the M.I.A. and the Weisman vs. the Smithsonians, the National Building Museum, the National Gallery of Art, etc., etc.: Now, I know what you're going to say: How can Minneapolis possibly win in the museum category? OK, well, I guess it really can't. The Building Museum is probably the most serene, exquisite, and interesting museum I've ever been to. I love to sit in the expansive hall and read -- certainly not something I'd be caught doing in the Walker. Still, for the sheer size of the city, Minneapolis' museums are quite impressive and are more than enough to keep a less than museum-savvy gal happy. And -- due to recent shake-ups at the Corcoran -- D.C. is still without a Gehry. Score one for the T.C.

• The C.C. Club vs. ??: Yeah, it's kind of sad that there is not one bar in D.C. that I feel comfortable comparing to the C.C. Club. The dog-eat-dog D.C. thang seems to preclude the existence of any truly chill bar with a good juke box that isn't some fancy new computerized beast. Whereas, C.C.'s jukebox is full of jewels. And they serve Leinie's Honeyweiss, which D.C.'s Brickskellar can't even boast. Add in the musical history of the C.C. Club (scroll down for C.C. goodness), and it's just magical.

• Metro Transit vs. Metro: OK, neither's a gem, but let's see, an hour long ride below ground vs. an hour long ride weaving your way through the Cities? I'll take the bus. Sure, D.C. also has buses, but I have heard enough horror stories to know that they are NOT reliable. AT least not in the way that I was always able to count on my 1 a.m. bus home after my shifts at Marshall Field's.


• The Twins vs. the Nationals: The Nats are certainly growing on me. And the Metrodome is one of the very few MLB stadiums that is a worse baseball venue than R.F.K. But, I will always be an American League woman. Give me whichever team provides the greater chance of my being able to see the Sox. (That's the Twins, for you baseball novices.)


• Blue Moon and Vera's and Anodyne and Hard Times and Caffeto and the Urban Bean and Pandora's and Heavenly Daze and ... vs. Starbucks and Lawson's: Please, need I say more? Sure, D.C. also has Murky Coffee, which has the right atmosphere, but the iced coffee has never impressed me. And, it's SO far away!


• The Wedge Co-op versus Takoma Park/Silver Spring Co-op: The Wedge is bigger (though I've never visited the SS branch of TPSS) and has a better selection. I do enjoy the quaintness of the Takoma Park store (the Wedge is sometimes uber-crowded), but it really can't compete. The Wedge has fancy juices and smoothies, bad-ass vegan carrot and cheesecake, and sea beans! ;-)
  

Other personal reasons aside, isn't it clear why one would want to move back to Minneapolis?

JFK & Lincoln Got Nothin'

Say what you will about the supposedly impressive "similarities" between the lives of JFK and Lincoln -- there's a much more exciting comparison to be made between fictional leading men MacGyver and Sherlock Holmes. There are certainly more than six comparisons, but, hey, I'm not writing a thesis, so this will have to suffice. If anyone can come up with some others, please let me know.

1. Pete (RIP Dana Elcar) = Watson
2. Murdoc = Moriarty
3. Houseboat = 221B Baker Street
4. Nikki = Irene Adler
5. Hockey = Boxing
6. Harry Jackson = Mycroft

Happy F'n 40th Griswold

The landmark Supreme Court case giving (married) women right to privacy in their birth control decisions, Griswold v. Connecticut, turned 40 this week. While the case (in conjunction with the Eisenstadt v. Baird case in 1972 that extended the right to single women) has been important in terms of women's reproductive rights and health, let's not get too hyped about this over-the-hill celebration.

The attack on this fundamental right (and women's sexual behavior) is steadily increasing in state legislatures and pharmacies across the country, as this Guttmacher Institute fact sheet demonstrates. Yet, men's sexual behavior continues to be encouraged and federally FUNDED -- even if you are a sex offender, as was widely reported in the past few weeks.

But, the Viagra/sex offender scandal is just one of many instances of governmentally approved sex - if you have a penis. Of course, governments aren't the only entities working to boost male sex drives while firmly ignoring women's. Corporations are busy R&Ding new drugs & products to get it up, prolong, enhance, improve, increase sensitivity, etc.

In her most recent column in The Nation, Katha Pollitt addresses this double standard:

The only new birth control method coming up soon is actually a nostalgia item, the Today sponge, beloved by Seinfeld's Elaine, which will be returning to drugstores later this year. Two decades into the AIDS epidemic, the only woman-controlled means of protection against HIV--now the leading cause of death among black women age 25-34--is the aesthetically repulsive, cumbersome and hard-to-find female condom. Hormone replacement therapy, promoted since the 1950s as the fountain of feminine youth and sexual vitality, looks to be mostly hype, with the possibility of heart attack, stroke and breast or ovarian cancer.

And what about sex aids for women? Where's that female Viagra they're always promising us? Most newspapers didn't even report that in December an FDA panel turned down Procter & Gamble's application for Intrinsa, a testosterone patch intended to raise libido in women whose ovaries have been removed. The problem wasn't that Intrinsa didn't work (the panel voted 14 to 3 that the manufacturers' trials showed a meaningful improvement in desire and pleasure); the issue was health risks as well as the potential for "off-label use" by women who had simply lost their mojo. A "lifestyle drug" for women! Can't have that.

So, Happy 40th, Griswold. We hardly know ye.

Hot & Sticky Extraction of Daughters of Sappho

A few random items:

1. The humidity that plagues Washington, D.C. each year is rearing its ugly head. Beer bottles are sweating, children are crying, and I'm ready to die.

2. I went to the dentist this morning and was told to say goodbye to my wisdom teeth. Too bad, cause I'd grown to like my third molars.

3. There's an awesome episode of "All in the Family" on right now about a local election. It's already discussed corporate welfare, women running for political office, and gay & lesbian politics. I miss Meathead and Archie.

Terrorism v. Feminism

Barbara Ehrenreich has a fascinating take (at AlterNet) on countering terrorism with feminism. I guarantee that some of her strategies (supporting girls' education worldwide, revoking the global gag rule, etc.) would do a hell of a lot more than simply eradicate terrorism. They would improve the lives of millions of women and girls worldwide.

Carrilo-McCarver Syndrome

There seems to be a never-ending stream of star athletes or wannabe star athletes who feel it is their post-athletic career duty to squawk on national television as a commentator. In most cases, this sense of duty is a selfish desire to stay involved in the game and impart their vast wisdom to the viewing public. Also in most cases, fulfilling this duty is a mistake that causes many TV spectators either to become intimate with the mute button, or to stick a fork in their eyes. The following hacks are the folks who most inspire me to search for a cure for the Carrillo-McCarver Syndrome.

1. Mary Carillo - This woman may be a big proponent of women in sports, but her voice is grating, her analysis is obvious, and she's so obnoxious that I've had to learn to enjoy tennis without being able to hear the ball being thwacked. I'll only listen to a match that Carillo is anouncing if John McEnroe's sarcastic and thoughtful banter is around to counteract her.

2. Tim McCarver - Clearly a talented baseball player in his day, but he needs his mouth to be stapled shut while the camera is rolling. Who awarded this man 3 Emmy Awards for "Best Sportscaster/Analyst"? His mom?

3. Bill Walton - I'll put Bill on the list in honor of the conversation that inspired this post in the first place. Honestly, it's the man's toothy smile that drives me batty more than anything else.

4. John Madden & Pat Summerall - Since they're a team and all, they get ranked as a team. They deserved each other. But, I'm glad to hear Summerall's found Christ. The "Lost Christ" flyers posted in my neighborhood were getting annoying.

There are certainly more horrifyingly bad sports commentators, but I'm going to go watch the Red Sox beat the Yankees.

Jams and Gams

I think I have finally recovered from Martha Wainwright's brilliant and goofy performance Monday night at Iota: Recovered from her searing vocals that at points bordered on bursting your eardrums. Recovered from the stunning renditions of some of my favorite tracks from her new CD, including "When the Day is Short," "Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole," "Factory," and "Ball and Chain." And recovered from the adorable black tennis dress that left her standing on stage "half naked," as she described herself. When's she coming to town again?

Oh yes, and don't forget to go vote for her bro as "Best New Act" in the Mojo Honours List. If only to mock the fact that his first CD was released seven years ago in 1998!

Down Under Vaccine

Australian scientists have developed a vaccine to protect women from cervical cancer and expect it to be available late next year.

Cervical cancer is one of the few human cancers known to be directly caused by the viral infection, human papillomavirus (HPV) and up to 70 per cent of sexually active women become infected during their lifetime.

HPV causes about 470,000 cervical cancer cases worldwide a year, killing 274,000 women.

Trials of the drug Gardasil reported in the British medical journal Lancet Oncology reported it cut HPV infection rates by 90 per cent.
--From a Courier-Mail article

Hot damn this is good news! Shouldn't this have been the lead story or editorial in every newspaper over the weekend?

BASEBALL!

If you want to prove your diamond knowledge, take this test and submit your answers. If you get more than 34 points (out of a possible 36), you are a bigger baseball nerd than Jon, who is currently in first. [Honorable mentions go to Eli (33 points) and Alex and my Uncle Ben (31 points each).] And no looking up answers or calling my former coaches to dig up the dirt!

1. Going into the 2004 baseball season, which team had gone the greatest number of years without winning a World Series?
a. Boston Red Sox
b. Seattle Mariners
c. Pittsburgh Pirates
d. Chicago Cubs

2. Which team did the Washington Senators become in 1961?
a. Seattle Mariners
b. Milwaukee Braves
c. Minnesota Twins
d. Montreal Expos

3. What does it mean to “put a shift on”?
a. Garb oneself in a loose dress
b. Move the catcher to the inside half of the plate
c. Move fielders from their normal field position in a certain direction to account for a hitter’s tendency to hit to a certain part of the field
d. To send the runner on first during a “first and third” situation

4. Which Yankees jerk was roundly criticized during the 2004 ALCS for knocking the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove when Arroyo attempted to tag him out on his way to first after he hit a weak ground ball?
a. Derek Jeter
b. Jorge Posada
c. Bernie Williams
d. Alex Rodriguez

5. What is “the hot corner”?
a. Third base
b. First base
c. Homeplate
d. Second base

6. Who is the greatest St. Louis Cardinals’ pitcher of all time, having compiled a 1.12 ERA during the 1968 season?
a. Bob Forsch
b. Bob Gibson
c. Dizzy Dean
d. Cy Young

7. Which former Vice President’s collection of autographed baseballs and other memorabilia has been showcased on the West Bank of the University of Minnesota campus?
a. Al Gore
b. George Bush
c. Hubert H. Humphrey
d. Walter Mondale

8. Which baseball team plays its games at Camden Yards?
a. St. Paul Saints
b. Toronto Blue Jays
c. Florida Marlins
d. Baltimore Orioles

9. Which current Red Sox first baseman used to play for the St. Paul Saints?
a. Bill Mueller
b. Kevin Millar
c. David Ortiz
d. Trot Nixon

10. What is statistically the hardest hit to get when trying to “hit for the cycle”?
a. single
b. double
c. triple
d. home run

11. In what city is the College World Series played in?
a. Tampa, Florida
b. Austin, Texas
c. Reno, Nevada
d. Omaha, Nebraska

12. Who won the 1918 World Series?
a. Chicago Cubs
b. Boston Red Sox
c. New York Yankees
d. Brooklyn Dodgers

13. What was the name of the Washington, DC Negro League team?
a. The Senators
b. The Nationals
c. The Grays
d. The Capitols

14. What is the “clean-up hitter”?
a. The batter with the most RBIs in the game
b. The batter who agrees to sweep the clubhouse after each game
c. The batter who hits fourth in the lineup
d. The batter who hits after the pitcher (in the National League)

15. Which team defeated the Red Sox in the ever-so-painful 1986 World Series?
a. The New York Mets
b. The Philadelphia Phillies
c. The Pittsburgh Pirates
d. The Fiendish Jerks

16. When Sarah was 8 and played on the Farm League team Mailloux’s Furniture, what was the only position she did not play during her All-Star season?
a. Pitcher
b. Shortstop
c. Catcher
d. Hell Raiser

17. Which popular Pittsburgh Pirate died in a plane crash in 1972?
a. Tim Wakefield
b. Nolan Ryan
c. John Kruk
d. Roberto Clemente

18. What is the last name of the baseball brothers known for throwing knuckleballs?
a. Niekro
b. Tricky
c. Smith
d. Marshall

19. What is a “set-up man”?
a. The batter that hits before the “clean-up hitter”
b. A relief pitcher that pitches before the closer
c. The fielder that gets the first out in a double play
d. The player from the home team that has to go on a date with the visiting team’s starting pitcher

20. Which awesome baseball movie stars Robert Redford and features a bat with a lighting streak on it?
a. Bull Durham
b. A League of Their Own
c. Cobb
d. The Natural

21. Which Minnesota Twin won the Cy Young Award in 2004?
a. Shannon Stewart
b. Torii Hunter
c. Johan Santana
d. Bert Blyleven

22. Which future Hall of Fame pitcher is nicknamed “The Rocket”?
a. Roger Clemens
b. Randy Johnson
c. Greg Maddux
d. Pedro Martinez

23. Who is the most famous baseball player to hail from Woonsocket, Rhode Island?
a. Clem Labine
b. Rocco Baldelli
c. Nap Lajoie
d. Canuck Perrier

24. In 1969, which team did awesomely named starting pitchers Vida Blue and Catfish Hunter play on?
a. Oakland Athletics
b. Detroit Tigers
c. Los Angeles Dodgers
d. San Francisco Giants

25. Which former Red Sox player is the greatest traitor of all time?
a. Babe Ruth
b. Roger Clemens
c. Wade Boggs
d. Pedro Martinez

26. Which former White Sox first baseman was nicknamed “The Big Hurt”?
a. Edgar Martinez
b. Seymour Bruise
c. Frank Thomas
d. Ryan Klesko

27. In what city is the Minnesota Twins AA team, the Rock Cats, located?
a. New Britain, CT
b. Portland, ME
c. Wilmington, NC
d. Iowa City, IA

28. Which former baseball player – known for having a ball bounce off of his head into the bleachers while he was playing outfield – recently released a “tell-all” book on steroids in Major League Baseball?
a. Mark McGwire
b. Jose Canseco
c. Bo Jackson
d. Cal Ripken

29. What does it mean when a baseball player “paints the corner”?
a. Just barely hits the corner of a base while running the bases
b. Hits a ball into the far corner of a ballpark while hitting
c. Spits tobacco juice into the corner of the dugout while riding the bench
d. Just barely nicks a corner of homeplate while pitching

30. What is Sarah’s favorite position to play?
a. Third base
b. Center field
c. Shortstop
d. Pitcher

31. Which Twins Hall of Famer battled it out with Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski for the home-run lead during the 1967 season?
a. Dean Chance
b. Harmon Killebrew
c. Kirby Puckett
d. Bob Allison

32. How many innings must a starting pitcher complete in order to be credited with a win?
a. 3
b. 4
c. 5
d. 6

33. Who was the 2004 American League batting champion?
a. Bill Mueller of the Boston Red Sox
b. Torii Hunter of the Minnesota Twins
c. Derek Jeter of the New York Yankees
d. Ichiro Suzuki of the Seattle Mariners

34. Name one of the three oldest baseball stadiums still being used for MLB games.

35. Sarah had two of the nicknames below when she played fast-pitch softball. You only have to pick one to get a point for this question. {Two points if you get ‘em both!}
a. Hoover
b. Smiley
c. Hot Pants
d. Crazy Legs
e. Butch
f. Hippy

36. Who do you predict will win the World Series in 2005?

unkempt maker

aye -- a blathering blistering
meandering wandering
greener and faster and meaner and warmer

triangle the fire and lay under water
wanting and wasting and do it yourself

mysteries swollen and bile convulses
and spider erupts in your head like a split
stripping and missing

your mind in the got her aroused;
a shudder and flicker and swifter it's done

--Sarah D.

[As part of a challenge to Mark to write some of his own poems because he's been celebrating National Poetry Month, I sort of promised to write one of my own despite my almost complete dislike of poetry. So, here is my 5-minute poem for you. Deconstruct and rip apart at will.]

"You Mean Christians Are Maintaining Our Monopoly?"

A rather sizeable technology firm located in Washington state has apparently forgotten the numerous times it was awarded for its respect of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights -- in the workplace and in the community.

Said company has revoked its support of a LGBT rights bill in Washington due to threats of an evangelical Christian boycott of its products. HRC has already crafted a response taking them to task, though the letter to the CEO gets rather mushy at the end.

They just need to get called out for being the greedy, hypocritical, right-wing fearing cowards that they are.

B.M.F.A.

I don't know what it is about the McGarrigle/ Wainwright clan, but they sure are continuing to be a compelling bunch of independently talented weirdos. The new release from Martha Wainwright [S/T] is just another example of such talent and certainly demonstrates that Rufus isn't the only child in the family who knows how best to illustrate his or her vocal stylings.

Besides the fan favorite from her EP of the same name, "Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole," Martha offers up a bunch of similarly cathartic tunes throughout the album, her first full-length. "When the Day is Short" is a personal favorite. Certainly not a compilation of songs that will fit every mood, but when it's right, it's perfect.

The only negative that's come out of Martha's solo career -- as far as I can tell -- is that she and Rufus have been less likely to be found touring together. And as anyone who's seen them together on a stage knows, they're one hot musical bro-and-sis duo. Perhaps Martha will make some guest appearances while Bro tours with Ben Folds this summer?

Corky, look out!!

Thank goodness my beloved little gray and white mangy cat, Corky, does not live in Wisconsin. According to news reports, the Wisconsin Conservation Congress recently voted in favor of removing feral felines from the endangered species list. Luckily, there are a couple more hoops for the cat-killers to jump through before it's officially done, and people don't seem to think the legislature will actually change the animal cruelty laws. So it'll be a while before stray tabbies need to start stockpiling bulletproof vests, if at all.

But still, people. I understand that cats can be a nuisance, but in no way should they be hunted. And who decides which cats "look" feral and which ones don't? If Corky were running around La Crosse, I guarantee she would be shot - she's a raggedy bag of bones with hair clumps the size of baseballs. She's old. She's gross. You'd never guess she's a "domesticated" cat.

Hunters are certainly one group I do not trust to show discretion and restraint.

On the upside, I'm glad to know there are groups out there like the Alley Cat Allies and Don't Shoot the Cat who are working around the clock to protect the little rascals. And to buy them body armor.

Interview Mutation

I encourage you all to go to the closest bookstore that you can find listed on this website and purchase the current issue of Rockrgrl magazine.

Do this for a few reasons:

1) Most importantly because there is an interview with Kristin Hersh written by a super talented writer who can convincingly allude to "anthems shaking the stalagmites of Hades" without making you laugh out loud. [Or maybe not; apparently some people do laugh...]

2) The picture of Sally Timms on p. 35 that has some people drooling into their beer...I'm not one of them, but you should check it out anyway.

3) The ad for everyone's favorite feminist-owned sex toy store in Minneapolis, the Smitten Kitten, found on p. 39.

Ordinances and Obituaries

Andrea Dworkin, feminist and censor extraordinaire, died April 9th. So why can I only locate one obituary in the news [the Guardian's]?

Her official website has a memorial all set up, but -- as far as I can tell -- the U.S. media has been silent. Nothing in the New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, CNN...you get the picture.

I'm getting the distinct impression that either the media is abandoning her now that she has no more controversial quotes to offer, or they're waiting to get the results of her autopsy. I like mysteries; her cause of death seems to be one. I guess we'll have to wait until the news media decides to report on her to find out what happened.

[Update: This morning the Post and the Times had obituaries. Perhaps I was being too impatient last night?]

Speak Up!

Come on, my sister bloggers, let's show these boys what we've got! [Of course, the much larger issue that's been circulating lately is on women's [lack of] representation on editorial pages, not in the blogosphere, but this article offers up at least one good strategy for increasing our influence in any contest of opinions.]

At the "Women and the Media Conference" this past Saturday in Cambridge, Mass., hosted by The Center for New Words, Nelson said the solution is
"cross-pollinating" efforts with a continued push for space for women in the
established press as well as in Internet news outlets and blogs.

The Web blogs so popular with Generation Y--and now deemed worthy of press credentials by the White House--are the cyberspace answer to individual
newsletters, cable-access shows and ham radio. All of these offer a wide-open
range for opinion makers to bypass gate-keeping editors who seem to "just say
no" to the women who come along...

..."Given how corporate media is, for us to expect The New York Times to change is not going to happen," said AlterNet's Chaudhry. "We need to empower ourselves with blogs. Not only will we have our voices heard but we have access to the kind of women we want to read it."

Female bloggers need to link to each other and other outlets of women's opinions, print journalists need to support each other's editorial efforts and keep making noise by sending in queries, well-researched and written columns and knocking on the big doors at least as often as do the men.

Instead of disappearing into the back of the room again, we must push the issue. Though many female journalists are opining 1,000 illuminated points of view in the media galaxy, unless we cluster our stars together into a fireball, we will not be seen by the major telescopes.

--From a Women's eNews story by Michele Weldon

Controlling Clock Skew

Apparently clock skew has something to do with generating randomness. Don't ask me what; I just like how the term rolls of my tongue. But in honor of controlling clock skew, here are some random items I came across today:

• It's National Sleep Awareness Week! Activities include a "Public Policy and Sleep Leadership Forum" and a "Healthy Sleep Community Award" competition. No mention of skewering any alarm clocks, however.
• Emily & CJ have their own blogs, which are now in the Blogs sidebar located to your right. Word on the street is they're getting married.
• Mark got a little cheeky about the Schiavo uproar.
• Lesbians and bisexual women are underestimating their risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases, according to a Guttmacher Institute report.
• The Washington Post has an extensive feature on the D.C. Police Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit. Did the recent murder of Wanda Alston, a local GLBT activist, have anything to do with prompting this article? Probably, and that's a shame that it took a murder to bring public notice to the Unit and its work.
• An Idaho Planned Parenthood chapter can declare victory after a District Court affirms a lower court's decision about a vicious law concerning abortion and parental consent.
• And, finally, everybody's favorite Willy Wonka publishes an autobiography.

Disgruntled Doctors Rock

When did Tuesday night TV get so good? Not since the days when Rescue 911 graced TV sets across the nation have I been so eager to sit in front of the tube on Tuesday nights. [Thinking about William Shatner declaring in his deep voice, "We begin on a cold night in November in suburban Milwaukee..." still makes my heart jump. Will the robber realize she's hiding under the blanket? Will the boy's leg get removed from the drain before he drowns?]

And now on Tuesday we have American Idol. No need to dish about that here because enough gets said about that show already. [Go Bo Bice!]

Everyone knows the real draw on Tuesday nights, though, is House, M.D., starring the ever-so-captivating Hugh Laurie. Not only has his portrayal of House captured the hearts of those of us who can't help but love brainy curmudgeons, but he's also a bestselling author and a former classmate of Emma Thompson and Stephen Fry at Cambridge. Oh yeah, and I hear his performance in Blackadder is something to check out.

People keep saying House is the best hospital drama since ER. Well, folks, ER wasn't that great, so I think you mean it's the best hospital drama since Chicago Hope. I'd like to see you pit Adam Arkin, Mandy Patinkin, and Hugh Laurie against George Clooney, that bespectacled guy, and that doctor with the cane, and you just see who wins.

P.S. Tuesday night TV is closely followed by Thursday night TV in awesomeness. The O.C. vs. House is increasingly becoming less of a competition in my book. Don't tell Alex.

Republican March Madness

Some junior staffer in the House Democratic office got a little creative. Check out the second annual GOP March Madness bracket to pick which "special interest priority is the biggest outrage."

If You Build It...

For all other architect junkies out there, check out this fantastic web resource: The Great Buildings Collection. They even celebrate a "Building of the Day" and some "Greatest Hits"!

The site also has a great search function, which you can use to search by architect, building, or place. Or you can browse by any of those categories, which is what I did to find the above beautiful geodesic dome designed by Buckminster Fuller and Shoji Sadao for the US Pavilion at Expo '67, which is located in Montreal. Sweet.

Who Are You Inclined to Believe?

The United States has said soldiers at a Baghdad checkpoint "attempted to warn the driver to stop by hand and arm signals, flashing white lights, and firing warning shots in front of the car," it said. "When the driver didn't stop, the soldiers shot into the engine block which stopped the vehicle, killing one and wounding two others."

But Italian Foreign Minister Gianfranco Fini told his parliament Tuesday that the car was not speeding and was not ordered to stop by U.S. troops at a checkpoint.

[Click here for full Washington Post article.]

I know who has my vote.

Pit Stop Jacket

For all Red Sox fans who want to look sharp and have an extra $100 lying around, click on the picture to order this swell jacket. Maybe Kevin Millar will don one when he appears on Queer Eye.

P.S. For all Red Sox fans who want to look sharp, want me to look sharp, and have an extra $200 lying around, I'll take a Small.

I Like This Band

Yeah, that's right. I like Guns N' Roses. A whole lot, in fact. "Mr. Brownstone," "Patience," and "Sweet Child O' Mine" -- some of my all-time favorite songs. "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" and "Since I Don't Have You" -- two of my all-time favorite covers. I even own The Spaghetti Incident. Yeah, I'm that big a fan.

So, what's prompting this sorta defensive spiel about G N' R? Well, see, I'm a feminist. And G N' R is one of the most notoriously misogynistic bands to have ever existed. "Have you not heard the lyrics to 'I Used to Love Her'?" I am frequently asked. Actually, yes I have, and it's a goddamn funny song. ACK! Did I just say that?

See, I've been tagged (correctly) as someone easily incensed by anti-women sentiments. Thus, I often have to justify my love of a band that seemingly spews such sentiments from their very pores. But good music is good music, and I can't deny that G N' R and all their blessed mid-song transitions make me wonder in amazement and awe. Sure, some of their lyrics make me want to hurl, but only while my eyes are simultaneously glazed over in music-lover heaven. And I sure as hell will not stop listening to them no matter how our views on women clash.

Which brings me to my next point...and I do have one.* Thanks to Jon, I now definitively possess the knowledge that my beloved "Idiots" love Bush. (And not the good kind, FYI.) Sure, we all knew about Schilling, and, let's face it, Timlin was no surprise, but the rest of the guys? Couldn't someone have leaked their disgust about having to meet the guy? I guess I'm still holding out hope that Millar and Damon were just being polite, but I'll admit that's a long shot.

So I'm ready to renounce my Red Sox loyalty, right? Nope, not even if the team holds a parade in Bush's honor on International Women's Day. As I may have indicated before, in my mind baseball and politics don't mix. Am I happy that my team is Republican? Obviously not. But that doesn't diminish the love that's steadily grown for them over 24 years. And I doubt anything could.

Which brings me to a third and final recent instance when I wanted to forget any social conscience I may have: Million Dollar Baby. Since I'm on so many listservs, I've been "treated" to a slew of passionate discussions about this movie, mostly surrounding the gender and disability-rights elements. It's a movie, kids. With characters and plots and perspectives you may not agree with, but it's still a movie. Creative license and all. Can't we just leave it at that?

OK, so maybe this discussion isn't fair of me. After all, can I really expect to have it both ways? Is it fair to be an uber-feminist when it suits me, and then want to forget my politics when it's time to enjoy music, sports, or film? Maybe not. These are important issues and perhaps I should be consistent.

But sometimes I want a song to be just a song; a baseball team to be just a baseball team; and a movie to be just a movie. No strings attached. No longwinded discussions. And no defensive explanations for why burying your wife in the backyard can be supremely funny.

[*That was a nod to Ellen, for those of you not in the know.]

Where I Hang My Hat(s)

Woonsocket, RI
Condotopia in Woonsocket: Editorial from the Providence Journal - Friday, February 18, 2005

Things are bursting out condos in Woonsocket, and one reason may not be hard to find -- a few miles to the northeast, housing prices are booming in the Boston metro area. That's good news for Woonsocket, and all of Rhode Island.

Four completed projects have produced 287 condominiums, three projects with up to 42 condominiums are being built, and four projects with 148 condominiums are being planned. None of these condos are "affordable" units, subsidized by the state's taxpayers -- although to many refugees from the housing crisis in Massachusetts, they may seem that way. More than two-thirds of the completed condos have been sold to former Massachusetts residents -- newly minted Rhode Islanders...

...The infusion of residents downtown should support more and better shops and restaurants than the current tattoo parlors and other small enterprises. This, in turn, will make the city even more attractive to potential Rhode Islanders from north of the border.

It should be noted that 10 of the 11 projects are rehabs of old mills or other historic structures, including a courthouse and a police station. Several of the developers either have secured or are applying for state historic-preservation tax credits, without which the developments -- and their expected local and state economic spinoff -- might not be financially feasible...

Well, thank goodness none of the new units are "affordable"! It would be a real travesty to have low income residents living in beautiful new apartments, wouldn't it?

Also, note the comparison of "better shops and restaurants" to "tattoo parlors and other small enterprises," in which I read "local, ethnic, and struggling businesses." I've heard ProJo was conservative; this editorial proves it.

Minneapolis, MN
This looks to be an awesome event on March 3rd, found through OutFront MN:

Quadriga and Workplace Alliance sponsor "Is your Passport Current? Societal Reactions to GLBT People from the Holocaust to the Present", featuring discussion and a presentation by GLBT historian J. Nicholas Tretter, GLBT Collections Specialist at the U of M offering a historical examination of the plight of GLBT people during the Nazi Holocaust, and how the extreme bigotry of that time may inform our current situation, at Trikkx Nightclub, 490 North Robert Street in downtown St. Paul from 5-7 p.m. Free and open to the public. Contact: (612) 822-0127 x111 or wpa@outfront.org.

I can personally vouch for the expertise and sheer generosity of J. Nicholas Tretter and the Tretter Collection at the U of M. He helped me with a research project, producing a fantastic male shower room scene lunchbox from the Vietnam War era.

Check out the always fantastic "Feminist Finds Issue" of the Minnesota Women's Press.

Washington, DC
As always, the National Building Museum provided an entertaining visit on Saturday. I've never seen it so crowded, especially with energetic tykes so into science and engineering. It almost made me not hate kids.

And, finally, my local record stores churned out a pretty good selection this past weekend. Herman's Hermits and the Distillers top the list.

Take Your Testimony and Shove It

From a Press Release:

Today, Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney (NY) was denied an opportunity to speak or submit testimony at a public hearing held by the Justice Department that was scheduled to gather public comment on its National Protocol for Sexual Assault Medical Forensic Examination. Instead of accepting Congresswoman Maloney’s statement or written testimony, she was asked to leave by an official who suggested that if she did not leave security would be called.

Congresswoman Maloney was at the meeting to call attention to the glaring omission of Emergency Contraception in the Justice Department's first ever national protocol on treatment for victims of sexual assault.

Unfortunately, Maloney was not allowed to speak, even though she was the only Member of Congress present. Rep. Maloney was also refused the right to submit or even leave her written testimony at the site. A representative of the Justice Department threatened to call security if Rep. Maloney did not remove herself from the room.

Yes, Rep. Carolyn Maloney is rather threatening looking, isn't she:

Cure for Insomnia:

A concert featuring Minnesota's own beloved band, Low.

"Sing me to sleep..."

Hardscrabble City

It's a special day when your middle school French teacher and drama club coach is quoted in the New York Times. One question: which are we - "hardscrabble" or "sleepy"? Is it possible for a city to be both?

"The Dangers of the Hour"

In light of our fair leader's arresting speech last evening, I offer a rebuttal (of sorts) from Matilda Joslyn Gage, a suffrage movement leader in the late 19th century, a spokeswoman for Native rights, and an avid supporter of a REAL separation of church and state. [Read the entire amazing speech here.]

For one hundred and fourteen years we have seen our country gradually advancing in recognition of broader freedom, fewer restrictions upon personal liberty, and the peoples of all nations looking towards us as the great exemplar of political and religious freedom. But of late a rapidly increasing tendency has been shown towards the destruction of our civil liberties. The work has been stealthily carried on for a number of years under names and purposes which have prevented a real recognition of the design in view...

...Personal freedom is now threatened by two foes, alike in character although differing in name, centralization and clericalism, ever the great antagonists to liberty. The control of questions which should be entirely left with the respective States in being gradually assumed by the United States.

It has been said that the war proved one thing — our nationality; it seems likely to prove much more — the destruction of local self‑government, which is becoming gradually lost. This general tendency towards centralizing power in the nation is a vast help to those persons who wish to incorporate certain religious dogmas in the Federal Constitution. The Constitution is superior to all statutory enactments and for this reason the Christian party in politics is not content that laws favoring it should be enacted by Congress alone, but aim to secure a constitutional amendment of like character...

...There is an impending struggle greater in its influence upon humanity than the one fought for freedom thirty years since. The government is undergoing changes which are signs of danger. The red signal is out, if you are color blind and cannot see it the more the pity for you. An unreasoning confidence is the chronic state of the people. To them it does not seem possible there is danger to their free inheritance. They forget that liberty must ever be guarded. They forget the hereditary enslavement, the bondage of the human will to the church, and thousands bound do not heed this enslavement — to them it seems liberty...

...We are told the country is in a dangerous condition with tens of thousands uncultured emigrants yearly pouring onto its shores; we are told our flag is hissed by anarchists who have 25,000 drilled men at their command; we are told the experiment of free government in towns and cities is a failure, but what danger from ignorant emigrants so great, what peril from anarchists so near, what experiment of free government such an utter failure as the admission of four new States largely populated by native-born American citizens, men and women of eastern birth, the young, the cultured, wide-awake business men and business women, under denial of the first principles of Dakota.

The danger menacing our country does not lie with the foreigners, nor the Anarchists, nor in municipal mismanagement. Free institutions are jeopardized because the country is false to its principles in the case of one-half of its citizens. But back of this falsity away down to the depths of causes deep in the hidden darkness of men's minds, must we look for the source of this perennial wrong...

...Yes, it is daybreak everywhere; we see its radiance in Europe, in South America, in Africa. Peaceful revolutions are rapidly taking place on two hemispheres, yet just as a dark cloud shadows some parts of the earth even at break of day, heralding a coming storm, so while it is breaking day in many countries, yet over our own beloved land the fell shadow sweeps, — over it falls the pall of a coming storm. Amid so much liberty, people fail to see the gradual encroachments of organized power either in the church or in the state. But so sure am I of the coming storm that I cannot believe it will pass over us without the possible shedding of blood. The struggle will be fierce and bitter; a man's enemies will be of his own household, for this storm will not be, as some surmise, a warfare between Catholic and Protestant; it will be a battle of the liberal element against the church and its dogmas of whatever name or nature. After a time liberty will triumph, and then and not until then shall we see a true Republic upon this soil. As the battle for political liberty began here so will that for full religious liberty end here. The conflict we were sure had gone by will again arise; the decisive battle has yet to be fought. It seems to me when that hour has passed there will be no more church forever, for science and the spirit of free thought will have destroyed its very foundations.

He Didn't Throw Stones

R.I.P.

Roe Turns 32

If you're in DC tomorrow, check out the rally at the Supreme Court to commemorate the 32nd anniversay of Roe v Wade. Also, the DC Metro Planned Parenthood clinic will be open 24 hours in celebration of the anniversary, providing free counseling and testing. [Thank you, Sarah Weddington.]

Summers in Hot Water

Well, hasn't Harvard president Lawrence Summers managed to stir up a little trouble? In a speech given at a National Bureau of Economic Research conference, Summers made allusions to the possibility that innate differences between men and women may be responsible for their unequal performance and representation in the sciences. Having been asked to "be provocative" during his speech, Summers opted to forgo wearing lace panties and instead spouted off about the need for more research into essentialist ideas about men and women and their respective scientific aptitudes.

Luckily for Summers, there is no transcript of his remarks, so the debate is turning into a "he said/she said" kind of thing that is making both sides look petty. This is what Summers has admitted to saying (from a Globe article):

''It's possible I made some reference to innate differences. . . I did say that you have to be careful in attributing things to socialization. . . That's what we would prefer to believe, but these are things that need to be studied."

Summers said cutting-edge research has shown that genetics are more important than previously thought, compared with environment or upbringing. As an example, he mentioned autism, once believed to be a result of parenting but now widely seen to have a genetic basis.

In his talk, according to several participants, Summers also used as an example one of his daughters, who as a child was given two trucks in an effort at gender-neutral parenting. Yet she treated them almost like dolls, naming one of them "daddy truck," and one "baby truck."

Well, obviously if his daughter anthropomorphizes trucks, then girls must be genetically predisposed to not want to pursue or excel in science!

Now, I know I'm one of the many who are up in arms about his comments without actually hearing the context in which they were made. So, take my criticism with a grain of salt. But, do think long and hard about what it means for a college president to be open to the possibility that women do not pursue science as much as men due to genetics. He is not some biological theorist - he crafts and implements educational policies at one of the most prestigious colleges in the country. The implications of his personal beliefs on this issue could be huge.

Additionally,

Summers' third point was about discrimination. Referencing a well-known concept in economics, he said that if discrimination was the main factor limiting the advancement of women in science and engineering, then a school that does not discriminate would gain an advantage by hiring away the top women who were discriminated against elsewhere.

Because that doesn't seem to be a widespread phenomenon, Summers said, "the real issue is the overall size of the pool, and it's less clear how much the size of the pool was held down by discrimination."

Yes, and how often has this "well-known concept in economics" been used to justify discrimination? I've heard it used plenty of times to explain why discrimination will not happen in the labor market (or at least why it won't be sustained), and have never been convinced that this popular economic principle is put into practice in real life.

I certainly empathize with MIT biologist Nancy Hopkins' statement about why she had to leave Summers' speech:

I would've either blacked out or thrown up [if I hadn't].

Haphazardous Material

• A damaging memo on Social Security and privatization from President Bush's director of strategic initiatives, Peter Wehner, was leaked to the press. Nice strategy, Peter.


• OutFront Minnesota has scheduled its Lobby Day for April 7th, which - not to get too tangential - is also the 25th anniversary of an asymptotic birth.


• Mary Liz Holberg & Co. are back to their old tricks in St. Paul, introducing a bill to amend the state constitution to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.


• A Minnesota Women's Press article covers a presumably awesome photo exhibit at the Minnesota Center for Photography, set to open January 15th.


• Advocates for Youth presents an absolutely hysterical puppet show about over-the-counter emergency contraception.


• Illinois State House passes gay rights legislation; Supreme Court says it's okay that Florida State House won't.


• The Crime Fiction Dossier and feminist reprise will soon be added to my blog links. The dregular, The Ghost of Gordon Sumner, and Prince Precise are other recent additions.

If Not for Hitler

The ingenious creator of everyone's favorite baking dish - the Bundt pan - died last week at the age of 86. Not only did he create the pan that has made monkey bread and Tunnel of Fudge cake possible, H. David Dalquist was also responsible for the rotating platter in your microwave. To think, if not for Hitler, we'd all be eating Bund cake.

Spoiled, Putrid Pork Butts

Yet another reason to quit eating meat, from a U.S. Attorney's Office Press Release:

Court records reflected that Shamrock is a meat and poultry trader that buys salvaged, damaged and otherwise distressed product from insurance companies in salvage sale situations for subsequent resale. In May 1998, Shamrock purchased 162,000 pounds of product from Stoner and Company, Inc. The product was part of a salvage operation resulting from a refrigeration failure at Bruno's, Inc. of Birmingham, Alabama, a retail store distributorship. On May 14, 1998, Shamrock sold 660 cases (41,807 pounds) of pork butts to R.W. Zant, a Los Angeles, California distributor, via Lighthouse Trading, a Newton, Iowa meat broker. Two hundred cases were sent directly to R.W. Zant, while the other 460 cases were delivered to a Los Angeles cold storage warehouse. Soon after its receipt of the 200 cases, R.W. Zant and Lighthouse notified Shamrock of complaints that the pork butts were spoiled and had a sour odor. Though Shamrock had been notified of this spoilage, it caused the other 460 cases to be delivered to Professional Food Systems, an El Paso, Texas retail store distributor. Professional Food Systems, in turn, sold some of the 60 cases of spoiled, putrid pork butts to New Mexico retail stores prior to learning the meat was adulterated. Importantly, the adulterated pork butts were recovered before they were sold to retail customers.

I'm Quitting My Coke Habit

While I no longer drink Starbucks, I'm ashamed to admit that I've been supporting the evil empire that is Coca Cola almost every day for the last few years. I don't know why my knowledge of their human rights abuses, union-hating practices, and sheer disregard for the dignity of any living creature had no practical impact on my soda consumption. But reading this article finally made it all sink in. I'm swearing it off for good. Honestly, if someone sees me with a Coke product, yank it out of my hands and pour it over my brainless head.

In this consuming ZNet article, Harsha Walia offers an argument about Western compassion (in light of the tsunami) that I've seen attempted by commentators on tip-toe in other media outlets, but not nearly as brashly or thoughtfully as Walia does in this quote and throughout the article:

Meanwhile, international humanitarian and charitable organizations that have increasingly come under scrutiny for not only inefficiency, but also due to the larger effects of “international NGO-ization” that actively hinders grassroots development and autonomy, are suddenly propelled to the forefront as saviours for the Third World. Let us be clear that there is no doubt that humanitarian work in order to save lives and provide adequate access to food and shelter is absolutely necessary. But the larger context must never be lost: international aid and NGO work will largely defuse the anger of those affected by the tsunami. Anger that again the people of the Third world are not important enough to matter; that again, preventative measures (such as early detection measures that exist in the Pacific rim) that could have been taken were considered expendable. The power and anger of the people has again been channelled into victimization to curb any political resistance.

The author's linkages between natural disaster assistance and corporate crimes against humanity are astute and I'm glad someone put them in writing. Does anyone know if Pepsi or Dr. Pepper are similarly evil? Will I have to resort to the expensive Dr. Brown's Diet Cream or Jones' FuFu Berry?

I'm Continuing the Kristin Hersh Lovefest

For these three reasons:

• I just received in the mail my very own copy of Live at Noe Valley Ministry and it is pure musical and comedic genius. Her story about people in CA being reviled by a newspaper photo of her with "lactating" breasts (does that mean big? nipply?) is hysterical and exemplifies society's ever-present fear of the female body and its emissions. She also performs some Muses songs, which always makes me happy. "Delicate Cutters" and "Serene" are extra-special highlights.

• She is the "alterna-gay icon" and a self-described "fag hag."

• She is coming to the Iota Cafe on February 3rd, which is conveniently located near a District of Columbia Metro stop. (Clarendon, to be more precise.) I am SOOO ready for my fourth magical experience watching this woman perform. (Note that Tommy Stinson - of the Replacements and G 'N R fame [hehe] - is playing on the 4th!)

The Only Blasted 2004 Albums I Own

Joining the fray in picking my “Top 10 Albums of 2004” became a much easier task when I discovered that I only had ten albums in my collection that fit the onerous criteria of having actually been released in 2004. Apparently, I’ve been so busy catching up on albums I missed in my squandered youth that I’ve completely abandoned new music.

Sure, I could have included albums I don’t actually own in my list, but if I don’t own them, I don’t know them well enough to say a damn thing about them. (Heck, I don’t know enough about some of the ones I do own to say a damn thing about them.) And I could have ignored the proscribed criteria and come up with some of my own, like “Top 10 Albums I Translated into French in 2004” or “Top 10 Albums of My 2004 Red Sox Soundtrack,” but I’m a sucker for tradition.

So, here goes. My “Top 10 Albums of 2004,” more affectionately known as “The Only Blasted 2004 Albums I Own.” And, yes, they are in order of “musical excellence,” which roughly translates to “ability to please Sarah in sundry and utterly random ways.”

1. 50 Foot Wave – S/T
For those who know me, this is a supremely obvious pick. Well, I’m sorry. But I don’t have it in my blood to put anybody above Kristin Hersh. Call it Ocean State prejudice. Call it irrational love. I don’t care. This six song masterful debut rocks from the opening wrenching guitar chords of “Bug” to the reverb closing of “Dog Days.” Come on, the opening lyrics to “Clara Bow” are “I didn’t use you/but I wish I had/I never liked you/but I wish I did” and Hersh’s bitching about “another stupid summer” is part of a perfectly jerky chorus that keeps you off balance and entranced. And if there’s a better song than “Long Painting” to shriek along to while bobbing your head and jumping up and down, well, I haven’t heard it yet. Plus, Hersh, Rob Ahlers, and Bernard Georges cater to the people. Their show in April at First Ave. was all about the music; Hersh barely said hello. No unnecessary banter, no breaks between tunes, just straight punk rock for the kids. The Catholic Church just might regain my respect if they ever canonize this woman. [That’s a joke, y’all, the respect is gone forever.]

2. The Butchies – Make Yr Life
So, given my KH bias, you can consider the Butchies’ fourth album to actually be my number one selection for 2004. I have a ridiculous amount of memories associated with this band – and this album in particular – and I was only introduced to them in April of this year. They played in DC the night before the March for Choice – a show I kick myself daily for not attending. After the March, I returned to Minneapolis and was invited to their upcoming May 9th show at the Dinkytowner Cafe while I was in the process of buying 50 Foot Wave concert tickets. Clearly, it was destiny. Of course, they rocked that little Mpls venue to death, complete with Howard the Duck/Melissa York antics and Kaia looking all hot and stuff. I bought Make Yr Life (and a very spiffy pin) that very night and never looked back.

Oh, but there’s an album to discuss too. Does anyone do pop rock better than the Butchies? “Send Me You” could stand as the quintessential missing-my-lover/ wanna-be-with-her/ him-all-the-time love song. And I could listen to the verse that happens right around the 1:00 mark of “Second Guess” over and over: “...but you’re not like the rest/you’re not the fucking rest/you’re not like anything/ i’ve ever seen...” God, and what happens at the 2:00 mark is even better. Trust me. “She’s so Lovely” is another superb devotional ditty that makes you really not want to believe Kaia when she sings “Grab my hand baby/I just wanna talk...” [Emphasis mine.] Oh, but wait, she wouldn’t be “talking” with you anyway. “Everything + Everywhere” is blatant and beauteous flirtation and their cover of the Outfield’s “Your Love” is perfect in its whispered slowness. When are they coming to DC again?

3. Rufus Wainwright – Want Two
One of the few men who will appear on this list, Rufus Wainwright quite frankly just makes me happy. I know a few Rufus fans who have grown bored or disillusioned with his recent output, but I’m continuously impressed and pleased. I could fall asleep to the gorgeous “Agnus Dei” every night (which, perhaps, isn’t the best recommendation for a song) and then wake up to “The One You Love” every morning: “I’m singing ‘Oh, Jerusalem oh, Jerusalem/See what he’s picked up in the park’/Let’s fuck this awful art party/Want you to make love to me and only to me in the dark.” While I can’t decide if “Peach Trees” is pretty or boring, and if “Little Sister” is a cute or ridiculous tribute, “The Art Teacher” and “This Love Affair” are two amazingly beautiful songs. While most critics probably harp on the meaning of “Gay Messiah,” I prefer to just sit back and smile at it. “Old Whore’s Diet” completely blows me away and is a perfectly epic, crescendo-to-diminuendo way to end Rufus’ fourth oeuvre. [Pardon the use of the word “oeuvre,” but you know it fits Rufus and what he does.] And if the album wasn’t satisfying enough, there’s a full-length concert DVD included that is also, oh, wonderful.

4. The Soviettes – LP II
I don’t know much about the Soviettes’ punkstory – they’re another recent addition to my musical collection. But I do know that this Minnesota group provides super fun shows and sing-able, dynamic songs on their albums, particularly on LP II. The call-and-response gimmick works to perfection in “Pass the Flashlight.” “Goes Down Easy” is a tune many drinkers will understand. The opening bars of “Angel A” are painfully naked, but work well with the song’s tale of disappointment. “There’s a Banana in My Ear” earns them a “liberal rocker” gold star. Ditto for “Winning is for Losers.” “Love Song” is too awesome to explain. I have no idea what the hell “Come on Bokkie” is about, but it works. At an average of a little over 100 seconds a track, these 14 songs bring quick and hard pleasure.

5. The Reputation – To Force a Fate
As mentioned previously, Elizabeth Elmore is well on her way to solidifying herself as a younger, childless, and less guttural Kristin Hersh. Less guttural, but her songs certainly have the same bitter, “Tar Kissers” element to them. Take, for instance, the awesomely fun “Bottle Rocket Battles”: “it was once before you noticed and twice before i cared/three times and we’d both had it for the year.” And “Face It” is a great song directed at plenty of people I know, especially in DC: “go join the neophytes and haunts/philistines and dilettantes/the new Elmer Gantrys in one feverish race to the bottom/it’s what you wanted/ it’s what we’re all doing here.” I love “Senseless Day,” if only for the talk about burying everything in sleep. Sounds like my ideal world. But my favorite track is “The Ugliness Kicking Around” because it’s another one of those epic, unnecessarily long-and-drawn-out songs that always seem to appeal to me. [After letting a friend borrow kd lang’s Ingenue album, she accused me of liking “overly dramatic” music. Rufus and Mandy Patinkin ... yeah, guilty as charged.] To Force a Fate has been firmly integrated into my regular CD playlist.

6. Le Tigre – This Island
Given a longer period of ownership, it’s possible that this album could have earned a higher spot on my list. But, I don’t know it very well yet, so it’ll have to rest easy at #6. I enjoy fun albums that you don’t need to pay attention to – this is certainly one of them. You can focus in on the lyrics if you want, but it’s definitely not necessary. “Seconds” is one of the many anti-tributes to G.W. Bushies to have come out in the past four years, and it’s probably one of the more caustic ones: “Your dad’s money’s too base to mention/His coattails are looking worn/You’ve had a nice ride that’s for sure/Better thank your brain-dead clientele/For all the money that you’ll spend in hell/You make me sick.” Other highlights: a brash “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo,” the spacey “T.K.O.” and the hysterical butch anthem “Viz.” I’ll agree with the Washington Post critic who said that the political collage “New Kicks” was unnecessary. Oh yeah, and did I mention the irresistible cover of the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited”? That song alone is worth the price of the album. Lucky for us, there are 12 other tracks.

7. Drive-By Truckers – The Dirty South
I’ve seen 7 out of the 10 bands on this list live. In terms of putting on the best overall live show, Drive-By Truckers lapped every single one of them – a couple times over. [Yes, they were even better than 50 Foot Wave. As far as being meaningful and all that crap, the L’~ show wins hands down, but DBT’s 3-plus hours of near non-stop quality performing were something I’ve never before witnessed.] I bought The Dirty South because I felt I owed the band more than the price I paid for the concert ticket, and I was curious if I could get into a country-ish record. Well, the experiment kind of worked. I genuinely like the album. I’m just never in the mood to listen to it. Patterson Hood’s “Puttin’ People on the Moon” is a ridiculously awesome song. Mike Cooley’s a genius, evidenced by “Daddy’s Cup,” among others. I could do without most of Jason Isbell’s tracks – “Danko/Manuel” is an exception, “Never Gonna Change” is certainly not. I guess I’m glad I own the album, but my ears would never know it.

8. Dropkick Murphys – Tessie
The Red Sox won the World Series. The Red Sox won the World Series. The Red Sox won the World Series. The Red Sox won the World Series.
“Don’t blame us if we ever doubt you/You know we couldn’t live without you/Boston you are the only only only...”

9. Ellis – Evidence of Joy
Ellis, much like Rufus, knows how to make a gal happy. Seeing her live and witnessing her self-conscious stage presence, goofy laughter, adorable telling of anecdotes, and sweet voice is an experience I hope to have again some day. But, after receiving my personally autographed, pre-ordered copy of Evidence of Joy, I’m not sure those things come across so well on a live album. [Or maybe they don’t always come across well in person either; an audience member does tell her - and I'm paraphrasing here - to "shut up already and just sing."] The songs are of usual Ellis quality (interpret as you will), but when interspersed with her banter and laughter and audience noise, her act is less charming and music less enjoyable. Still, I love her and there are some great songs on the album. Among them, a reprise of Bobby Llama’s “Angel,” a sincere “Lovesong,” and a fine rendition of “Sacred,” a song that really never fails. “I’ve Gotta Thing for You” is a new and experimental tune that is hysterical – but only the first couple times you hear it. Surprisingly,even after those first couple times it still stands up as a high quality track. But, if I want to reminisce about my Minnesota days, I’m definitely more likely to pop in Ellis’ earlier Soft Day or Tigers Above, Tigers Below than Evidence.

10. Go Betty Go – Worst Enemy (EP)
Pretty basic punk by four talented womyn. Not overwhelming, but worth listening to every now and then. Especially the last track, “C’mon.” Hopefully, they’ll figure out a way to distinguish themselves from similar groups (like the Soviettes have expertly done) by the time they make a full-length.

Resolution #1 for 2005: When I go to buy new music, actually buy new music.

No, strike that. The past year has seen me add an amazing number of "new" bands and a fair number of oldy-but-oh-so-goody albums to my collection. (Five must-haves by the Pixies being pretty good examples of what I mean). So, if I end up with a similarly lame Top 10 list next year, it’ll only be because I was too busy continuing my musical late blooming to investigate what those modern kids are up to.

[P.S. Does the trade mean 2005 will not see Pedro and Manny featured on a Mighty Mighty Bosstones album? At least we still have V-Tek around to sing with Aerosmith...]

The Ship Is Listing

While I have composed my own "Top 10 Albums of 2004" manifesto, it is not yet ready to be revealed. I plan to make it all fancy for you, which requires borrowing a housemate's computer and spending a couple hours finding appropriate links and pics. Thus, I will have it up tomorrow.

But, to start the drumroll, I offer several lists that have already been posted.

Here's a hint: Some of the albums on my list are on some of these lists too.

Another hint: Absolutely none of these lists mention my #1, even the ones that name 100 albums.

• Mark has a tunnel from his window to yours
• Hot Doorknobs at Slang Editorial '04
• Ezruh's Probably Great Albums at Slang
• Bob Mould
• The folks at the Washington City Paper
• Top Sellers at Insound
• PopMatters Top 100
• An alternative PopMatters list
• The Onion has an opinion

Chemical Imbalance

From a recent New York Times article:

Taking the destabilizing effects of sugar to an extreme is the tunnel-of-fudge cake. "It is so deadly, you can't believe how deadly it is," she said. "We are deliberately doing a cake with way too much sugar."

Sugar, she explained, binds to the flour proteins, preventing them from forming the structural lattice. "Glutenin runs off with sugar," Ms. Corriher said. "Gliadin runs off with sugar, and you don't get much gluten."

When baked, the outer portions reach a high enough temperature that they harden, but the cooler inner part remains soft and gooey.

"We've eaten a whole cake, the two of us," Ms. Corriher said.

Her husband interjected, "Over a period of time."

"It was a very brief period of time," Ms. Corriher said.

Bucolic Panorama

For a building that is less than overwhelming in its size, the Gibbes Museum in Charleston, SC is currently home to an impressive number of worth-the-$7-entrance-fee exhibitions.

Moving to the head of the class is William Dunlap's Panorama of the American Landscape and a small sample of Dunlap's other works (including Dear Head Into Infinity, below).



Dunlap's treatment of war is unique and powerful. It's too bad plenty of people probably walk into the room, take a quick glance around, and promptly walk out of the room (which I did see happen). As with that of Van Gogh, Dunlap's work is most rewarding when you stand smack dab up against the painting and look intently at the purposeful paint lumps, subtly hidden words and numbers, and seemingly arbitrary patches of canvas.

Other treats at the Gibbes include their permanent collection of miniature period rooms and some fascinating works by Linda Fantuzzo and Manning Williams. [Registration required for the Fantuzzo/Williams article.]

All that said, who thought the Museum's "Size Matters" promotion was a good idea?

Moral Majoridon and Senataur

Click the pic to see a horror movie.

Football Dream Come True

Congrats to Maribel Dominguez on her recent signing with Celaya, a men's soccer team in Mexico's second highest league. Maybe she'll be to Mexican girls who want to play futbol what Manon Rheaume was to Canadian girls who wanted to be "hockeyeuses."

Scroogism

Now, I'm not saying I'm ready to sandwich-board myself with these posters and take my fury to the streets, but I certainly understand the sentiments underlying the Christmas Resistance Movement.

But if you are going to buy presents this holla! day season, you might as well Buy Blue.

And This Dog, Language

My hair, as already mentioned, is standing on end, and no setting lotion there, which could force it to firm up again. No firmness in myself either. Not on me, not in me. When one’s on the sidelines, one always has to be ready to jump a bit and then another bit to the side, into the empty space, which is right next to the sidelines. And the sidelines have brought their sideline pitfall along with them, it’s ready at any time, it gapes wide, to lure one even further out. Luring out is luring in. Please, I don’t want to lose sight now of the way, which I’m not on. I would so like to describe it honestly and above all truly and accurately...

...And this dog, language, which is supposed to protect me, that’s why I have him, after all, is now snapping at my heels. My protector wants to bite me. My only protector against being described, language, which, conversely, exists to describe something else, that I am not - that is why I cover so much paper - my only protector is turning against me. Perhaps I only keep him at all, so that he, while pretending to protect me, pounces on me. Because I sought protection in writing, this being on my way, language, which in motion, in speaking, appeared to be a safe shelter, turns against me. No wonder. I mistrusted it immediately, after all. What kind of camouflage is that, which exists, not to make one invisible, but ever more distinct?
--Elfriede Jelinek during her Nobel Lecture

Dear Lord, please tell me this lecture on the life of a writer made more sense when delivered in German...

Kicking High

There are very few people as mesmerizing on stage as Kristin Hersh. [For those of y'all who want to see for yourself, she's playing some solo dates and some shows with 50 Foot Wave in the coming weeks.] But let me tell you this. Elizabeth Elmore of the Reputation is well on her way to evoking the same guitar-grinding, dominant womyn rock star sensibility that has thrilled so many Hersh fans, and I'm grateful for having been introduced to her discography.

The Reputation's show at Black Cat on Thursday was full of high energy and fast music, all buoyed by Elmore's sweet-but-tough vocals and nose-to-the-grindstone guitar work. The other band members did more than their fair share of contributing to the energy and tone of the show, but it was obvious who the star is here. Elmore's self-deprecating banter and beer guzzling further endeared her to me, especially when she forgot some lyrics, lost her guitar (briefly) to a power surge, and then quipped that it was their last show of a two and a half month tour, but that it must have seemed to the audience like their first. Nope, not at all.

This group knows how to play together on stage - and in the studio, as evidenced by their new album "To Force a Fate". [I've heard some tracks from their s/t debut, and it's more of the same greatness.] Though Elmore seems a bit bitter about the circumstances of Sarge's break-up, "not my choice - for the record," she's moved on to another respectable and crowd-pleasing ensemble. Let's hope Elmore rocks on in whatever form she chooses for many years to come.

Of Cannoli and Hornets

Two books that are more than satisfactory for entertaining oneself on 4-hour bus rides:

Take the Cannoli by Sarah Vowell
- An entertaining series of essays on a range of subjects: performing as a combination tuba/bells player in a high school marching band; driving lessons with Ira Glass; love affairs by mix tape; the Trail of Tears; her dad and his cannon; visiting Disney World as a cynical adult; and, yes, cannoli. Better than her buddy Sedaris.

Black Hornet by James Sallis
-Sallis' Lew Griffin series must draw the inevitable comparisons to Walter Mosley and his Easy Rawlins novels, and if it does, that's a shame and lazy book reviewing. These characters, both fascinating, intelligent, and likeable despite their flaws, are remarkably different, as are the authors' styles and angles of attack. Sallis is much more overtly political and knows how to divert from the current action to allow Griffin to offer up anecdotes from his past and/or future. [Um, was that just comparing the two?] Check out an excerpt from the first chapter. Good stuff.

Ignite

Each time I peruse the CDs at Revolution Records, I'm intrigued by a used copy of Northern State's All City album. I've never bought it because somehow the cover picture led me to believe that it would be a feeble attempt at hip hop. Perhaps I was turned off by the fact that one of them was wearing a pink one of those long sleeveless shirts that is tight on top and wide on the bottom. (Check out the album cover to see what I mean. Plus she's wearing flip-flops.)

I admit that's a lame excuse not to be a CD in support of a female hip hop group, but there you go. After reading an interview with N.S. in this issue of Bitch, however, I'm beginning to think I was guilty of succumbing to immature superficiality and that I should scoop up their album the next time I visit Revolution, if I'm lucky enough to still find it there. With assistance from producers like Cypress Hills' Muggs and the Roots' ?uestlove, as well as a guest performance by Har Mar Superstar [yup, that's him in the above pic], the album may be a surefire hit. Has anyone heard it?

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Check out the new Women Teaching in the Sciences website, co-hosted by Women's Prerogative and the National Women's Law Center. They only evaluate science faculty at some of the big research universities, but the results are telling nonetheless. Read the entire report or check out how your favorite school stands on the main website.

Here are the results for the U. of Minnesota:

Astronomy/Astrophysics
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 17% (2 out of 12)

Chemistry
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 10% (4 out of 39)

Civil Engineering
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 13% (4 out of 31)

Mathematics
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 3% (2 out of 69)

Physics
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 3% (2 out of 68)

Chemical Engineering
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 6% (2 out of 35)

Computer Science
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 10% (3 out of 30)

Mechanical Engineering
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 10% (4 out of 41)

Electrical Engineering
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 10% (1 out of 10)

Biological Sciences
Percentage of Professors Who Are Women 26% (33 out of 125)

Pathetic.

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Maureen Dowd's op/ed on the white male network news anchor paradigm raises some interesting points. I think she shot herself in the foot by ending her otherwise decent column with her ridiculous friend's comment:

Women like to read books about men and go to movies about men. But men don't like to read books about women or go to movies about women. The only way this is going to change is if women refuse to watch men. And the problem is, women like watching men.

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Finally, read some of the absurdities that are being taught as part of "abstinence-only" curriculum around the country in an article from today's Washington Post.