You Mean I Can't Buy Condoms with That?

Congratulations to Dr. Dora Mills, Director of Maine's Bureau of Health, and Governor John Baldacci for continuing to refuse federal abstinence-only "sex education" money. Their decision has brought the grand total of states that refuse to take such funds to a whopping three; Pennsylvania and California complete the trio.

Unfortunately, Dr. Mills (and future state funding for the Bureau of Health) are now under attack by conservative members of the state legislature:

"First of all, the bureau's director, Dr. Dora Mills, is not a policymaker or elected, like legislators, so I continue to object to policy being made by bureaucrats," [State Sen. Debra D.] Plowman said. "Second, I hope that she's going to find that $161,000 somewhere in her budget to continue the program she has been involved in, because we're not making it up. So she best not be asking for any increases in her budget next year, or the two years after that for that matter. If she can unilaterally turn away money, then she can't be in too difficult circumstances. She, and the governor, should have run that one by the Legislature."

Aside from the petty linguistic criticism of Plowman's contention that one can make a unilateral bureaucratic decision in conjunction with a state elected official (the Guv at that!), this quote is pure schoolyard battle drivel. "She best not be asking me for an Oreo after thumbing her nose at Mrs. Smith's Soft Batch chocolate chip cookie yesterday." What, is Debra Plowman 9 years old?

Of course, I'm anti-abstinence-only funding, so I'd agree with Mills's and Baldacci's decision regardless of the conservative response. But if I were a Maine resident and read Plowman's asinine threats, I'd be incensed that this woman was ever elected to the legislature. Mills wasn't overstepping her bounds as a bureau director by acting in conjunction with the Administration to refuse that funding. She was being smart and principled and demonstrating that not all state officials are out for more federal money to stuff their own coffers.

La Haîne

Here are some folks who recently have received spit-laced invectives for committing various "crimes," some great, some small, and some imaginary. You decide which is which.

• God-and-country-lovin' John Denver fans turn violent when Mark writes a review exposing the irrelevance of their beloved'’s music.
• After implicating teammate Miguel Tejada in his own embarrassing steroid controversy, Raffy Palmeiro is asked to leave the Orioles' locker room and to not return for the rest of the season. Oddsmakers put it that no other team will ask him to ride their bench next season either.
• Police in Ciudad Juarez receive fiery criticism for their gross incompetence in investigating the murder of 350+ women in the city and surrounding area.
  
• New York Yankee Derek "I-I-I-I-I-get-around" Jeter receives more hate mail for dating white women.

Walk, Don't Run to the Playoffs

For other ailing Red Sox fans out there, I have a temporary cure for your playoff worries: the toe-tap inducing guitar-and-drum goodness of The Challengers. It's hard to find an objective history of the band, but check out bassist Randy Nauert's nifty summary and Challengers Cartoon Book.

Though not the most famous of the surf rock bands of the '60s, these guys knew how to play the genre well and outplayed some of the original bands on the very tunes that made them so famous (The Ventures and The Surfaris, to name just two). Seriously, check out The Challengers' version of "Wipeout." It may stave off fears about the Red Sox, who are in danger of doing just that.

You gotta have balls to call 'em

Do you go to a French restaurant expecting the head chef to have been born and raised in Provence? Or are you more concerned that the chef cooks your “moules avec frites” to perfection? According to “Breaking into Baseball: Women and the National Pastime” by Jean Hastings Ardell, the National Association of Professional Baseball Leagues (NAPBL) demonstrated its allegiance to pure French ethnicity in a 1968 lawsuit concerning the contract of Bernice “Bernie” Gera, one of the few female umpires to break even the single A ranks of professional baseball:

Leisure [the NAPBL Wall Street-trained lawyer] likened the NABL’s need for male umpires to that of a French restaurant’s need for a French chef or a religious organization’s preference for a salesman of its own creed.

Hmm...isn't an employer hiring based on preferences for her/his own group characteristics illegal (in theory, anyway)? The New York State Human Rights Commission agreed that it was, and Gera eventually did win the battle -- after 5 years of stress and attorney fees. So, how come the situation of female umpires in professional baseball has not improved since Gera’s case almost 40 years ago?

For example, Pam Postema – who had accumulated 12 years of professional umpiring experience, including 6 in triple A – was set for a historical promotion to the majors in 1988. However, after a controversial media attack against her led by born-again Christian/ Houston Astros pitcher Bob Knepper, Postema was “released” from her duties for ejecting too many people and a “worsening” attitude. [Insiders knowingly blamed these foibles on a bad case of PMS, I'm sure.] Postema's fate was sealed by a tell-all expose of major league baseball (which I've gotta read) and questions surrounding her sexuality. She would never call a game in the majors -- and neither would any other woman.

It is true that Postema's goal eluded her and that few women followed in her path. Melvin Driskoll, of Jim Evans's Academy of Professional Umpiring, said they have a hard time attracting women. [Do they even try?] Between 1977 and 2002, thirteen women attended Harry Wendelstedt's school, with only Postema and Theresa Cox making it into the minor leagues.

If professional experts are supposed to reflect their charges or clientele, can someone explain why so many women’s basketball/ hockey/ volleyball/ curling coaches are men? Or why so many gynecologists and obstetricians are men? Cause last time I checked, men don’t have vaginas.

But It's Only 10 Miles from I-80

Since Mark has already brilliantly documented the highlights of our semi-cross country trek, here are the coulda-been highlights -- if we had had two more weeks to make the journey and a shitload of money:

Our first tangential stop was to Wheatland -- "Where Presidential History Comes to Life." Oh boy, and did it ever. I will never forget traipsing through the rooms that once housed James Buchanan.

We then headed west to Altoona, PA to visit the famous horseshoe curve. I had been there before, but wanted to ride that crazy "Funicular" again.

A couple hours into our trip, we stopped at Frank Lloyd Wright's classic woodsy architectural haven, Fallingwater. I bought this T-shirt.

Next, Mark wanted to stop at the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh. We spent a couple hours gazing at Marilyn and a bunch of soup cans and then combed through the archives.

In our continuing search for presidential paraphernelia, we had barely crossed the border into Ohio before hitting the McKinley Memorial Library and Museum. We even got to sit next to McKinley, who was daintily perched on a red velvet couch.

After leaving McKinley behind, we hightailed it to Cedar Point Park, where two full days were spent riding roller coasters. We probably felt a combined 500 G's pushing and lifting and generally propelling our bodies in all directions. I left a happy woman.

At this point, we decided to make a beeline for Minneapolis, and only allowed ourselves one more (ridiculously expensive) stop -- at Taliesin, the Wright house and compound located in Spring Green, WI. Super pretty and worth the money if you happen to have it bulging out of your wallet.

Aaahhh...then home once again.

Tennis Rocket Battles

Dear Lord. And to think Andre Agassi used to be at the top of my "I hate you" list.

Agassi over Blake 3-6, 3-6, 6-3, 6-3, 7-6 (8-6).

I sure wish Pete were still playing, so we could compare their mid-30s tennis capabilities. And their adorable schlockiness:

At 1:15 in the morning for 20,000 people to still be here, I wasn't the winner, tennis was.

Stalled at the Start

How is a person supposed to start boxing up books and clothes when the fascinating U.S. Open match between Rafael "I-can't-decide-if-I-prefer-black-or-white-capris" Nadal and James "Thank-God-my-face-is-no-longer-paralyzed" Blake is taking place?

Blake's currently serving at 5-4 for the first set after having just broken Nadal. Oh, what I wouldn't do for Blake's inside-out forehand.

Blake just won the first set. Please let him knock that pretty Spaniard out.

Hometown Pride

In honor of the anniversary of the first day of the Great Textile Strike in Woonsocket (Sept. 1, 1934), take a look at this Illustrated Timeline of Woonsocket Labor History. Those fiesty Canucks!

I am also proud to report that the University of Minnesota library has the book published by the Industrial Trades Union of America that is pictured at left.

Snoozin' Song Tag

Okay, so Bob Mould didn't exactly tag me personally, but I've visited his Whole Foods a couple times in the past week and maybe I touched a nectarine that he gently nudged with his knuckle while reaching for the grapes...

Here's the deal: List ten songs you currently are obsessing over -- any genre, any format, etc. If you have a blog, do it there; if you don't, do it here. Then tag five people or so. Here are my songs, in no particular order:

Arcade Fire: Wake Up
Kleenex/Liliput: You
Rufus Wainwright: One Man Guy
Bikini Kill: Feels Blind
Will Smith: Switch
Imperial Teen: Teacher's Pet
The Go-Betweens: Heart and Home
Missy Elliott: Lose Control
Guns N' Roses: Mr. Brownstone
The Positions: Back to Me

Okay: Mark, Eli, Jon, Ezra & Alex, Kate & Eden, Emily, CJ, Ross, and Liz -- consider your nectarines gently nudged by my knuckles.

Ride Again, $4 & Stall Humor

While I didn't exactly approach Michael Boodley's Bastille Day, 1975 record-setting performance of 1,000 consecutive rides on the Coney Island Cyclone [pictured left], I did experience the historic wooden coaster's brilliance twice in a row this past weekend. Who knew that a coaster that began operating in 1927 could be so damn exciting! I guess I would expect nothing less from "perhaps the most famous roller coaster of all time."

The Cyclone's notorious first drop (of 85 feet at a ridiculously steep 60 degree angle) was phenomenal. Then, for a blessed one minute and 50 seconds (covering 2,650 feet along the way), you're whipped around six 180 degree turns, 18 track crossovers, and a whopping 27 changes of direction. I left with bruises and the next day woke up with sore muscles. Of course, I wouldn't have my wooden roller coasters any other way. I feel perfectly content with skipping Cedar Point now.

Also while in NY, I ran across the funniest bathroom stall graffiti conversation I've seen in quite a while:

Drunk woman #1: I hate those damn Red Sox, except for that Mike Timlin, who is H-O-T.
Drunk woman #2: I'm with you, except mine is Brian Daubach. Woo hoo!
Drunk woman #3: The Red Sox rule! MLB Champs 2005!
Drunk woman #4: The Red Sox can go fuck themselves! Yankees rule! They were just throwing the Red Sox a bone!

Wow, where to begin? First, I love that there was a drunken baseball debate happening in a women's bathroom stall. This makes me happy.

Second, I need to point out that Yankees fans have, uh, interesting taste in men. Timlin and Daubach? These certainly can't be the same fans who drool over Jeter.

Third, just throwing the Red Sox a bone? Then what are they doing this year? Setting a big juicy steak in front of us? Cause it sure looks to me like the Sox are going to win the Division, and that the Yankees are in a 3-way tie for first in the Wild Card race. Red Sox rule!

Throwing Asymptosy

Umm...take a look at the new Throwing Music Blog. Now, I know there are blogger templates and all that, but I distinctly remember screwing around with different color combos before settling on this design.

Also, note the hip new TM home page, as well as the exciting news about more "Free Music" in the works. Plus Kristin's working on a new solo album AND a 2nd edition of "Murder, Misery and then Goodnight". What a way to start my morning. I love this woman.

Hatching and Strippling

After my weekend trip to the National Building Museum, I am convinced some part of me was an architect in the 18th or 19th century. Their current exhibition, Tools of the Imagination, made my blood pressure rise, my eyeballs explode, and my latent kleptomania emerge. You can see some of the beautiful instruments as part of an exhibition flyer. Here are the tools I especially wanted to swipe:

1) Four-layer magazine case: Who doesn't want to keep all of their architectural implements in a nickel silver bound burr walnut case?

2) Beam compass: Or, in this case, a "microscopic" beam compass.

3) Ellipsograph, or trammel, if you will. If you get really skilled with it, you're even allowed to join the Elliptical Turning Association. No joke.

4) Perspectograph: Which can be used to make fancy perspective drawings of houses, such as this or this.

5) Volutor: That Andrew Kay is a genius.

Buckeye Battle

Mark nicely summarizes a current debate we are having over Ohio cultural attractions. Though it is kinda lopsided, in that he has choices 'a'-'e' and I'm left with meager old 'f'. My mom has already told me she's with Mark on this one, despite those presidents being "the most boring ever." Which would you pick?

Crisis at 357 Park Place

I attended Woonsocket Middle School from September 1991 to June 1994 -- and they were the three happiest years I spent in school. One would think middle school would be absolute torture for tomboyish, corpulent, adolescent girls, but I loved my time there.

It's amazing how much things can change in a mere 10 years. The descriptions of the school's current state in 2005 from this Providence Journal 5-part series do not ring true to me at all. I guess I sensed things were changing at the middle school when I was in high school and heard stories from my friends' younger siblings. But this?

Woonsocket Middle School -- New England's largest -- has been called a labyrinth, a jungle, a danger zone, and even a haven.

The complex, which covers a city block larger than a football field, is full of snaking hallways, storage closets turned into classrooms, and shadowy stairways known to disorient even the heartiest visitor.This year alone, faulty intercoms, broken bathrooms, corroding pipes, and cockroaches have disrupted learning and eroded morale.

School days are frequently interrupted with arrests, fights, and violent confrontations. Three months ago, a teacher was arrested for hitting a student. Last year, 13 students were suspended for assaulting teachers and 170 students were suspended for assaulting each other.

In 1998, a student was raped in a stairwell. In 2001, another student was sexually assaulted by a gym teacher.

The school is so volatile, teachers feel it is more important to take 10 to 15 minutes out of academic time twice a day for escorted bathroom breaks rather than risk what might happen if they allowed children to tackle the bathroom trips on their own.

Now, sure, there really is nothing unique about this situation. There are bad schools around the country, many much worse than this. Woonsocket surely isn't the only community where parents are yanking their kids out of public school to go to uptight Catholic ones. And teachers clash with an ever-changing repertoire of administrators everywhere. So what's the big deal?

Well, I guess what really disturbs me is how fast the school became an absolute quagmire. To me, it epitomizes the complete disinvestment in public schools that's happening around the country, particularly in urban settings that have experienced recent waves of immigration and only seem to be getting poorer. (According to this article, 32% of Woonsocket Middle School students live in poverty and 61% come from low income families.)

In a recent conversation with someone familiar with urban New England school settings, it was agreed that investment in schools alone is not enough. The ailing schools are merely a consequence of a community that's suffering in a myriad of other ways. So do you start trying to repair the city's economy before the schools? Do you attempt a simultaneous fix? I guess that's what I went to policy school to try to figure out, but hell if I know.

Perhaps the one concrete recommendation that jumps out to me is to build another school -- this structure is clearly too small and old to hold all these kids. Woonsocket is far from being the largest city in New England, so there's no reason for it to have the largest middle school. Split the school in half, have smaller class sizes, you know the drill.

Fat 6th graders who like to wear plaid blazers should feel comfortable at Woonsocket Middle School, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't in 2005. Kids who hate going home at night should have a reprieve during the day at Woonsocket Middle School, and it sure sounds like the nightmare only continues.

Teachers, administrators: learn to get along and friggin' figure out what the hell to do with the students. Mayor, City Council, community leaders: you're no longer a mill town filled with Canucks, Italians, and Irish folk. The population's changed, so get with the program and serve your constituents -- yeah, even the ones who don't have money.

Andy Roddick's Jaime Yzaga

I'll never forget the 1994 U.S. Open because of a Peruvian tennis player named Jaime Yzaga. My favorite netsman, Pete Sampras, had had a rough year and ended up losing to Yzaga in the fourth round. I was devastated. How could Pete lose to someone I had never heard of before? My friend (and 6th grade crush) Carlos sensed my distress and taunted me with the name Jaime Yzaga for years. (Little did I know that Yzaga also had dealt Pete his first ever U.S. Open loss -- in 1988!)

This devastating memory was jogged tonight as I watched Andy Roddick lose rather handily to Paul-Henri Mathieu a mere two days after Roddick won the Legg Mason here in D.C. Mathieu's performance was incredible, culminating in a scrambling point on his serve that ended with Mathieu running down a Roddick volley for a desperate forehand winner. It was amazing.

I like Roddick enough, and I loved Pete Sampras. But I imagine it being infinitely more satisfying to walk onto a tennis court and beat someone who everyone is expecting to kill you than to walk onto a tennis court and fulfill everyone's expectation that you're going to win.

Guaranteed Roddick will come out firing in next week's tournament. No one likes to learn the Yzaga lesson.

FunNY

Eli has already posted about this on Expecting Rain, but I like to brag about highlight the talents of my friends. Check out the last paragraph of this NY Times article by Robert Strauss.

[Update: You now have to purchase the article to read the last paragraph. Basically, the article describes the award for humor fiction writing that Strauss established at Carleton, and that Eli is the only winner of the award he has ever met. And that Eli won two years in a row. And that one of Eli's winning stories pondered whether or not dogs could be Jewish.]

Design Like You Give a Damn

Thanks to a profile in the Washington Post, I've discovered one of the neatest non-profit organizations ever -- Architecture for Humanity. Co-founded by practical idealists Cameron Sinclair and Kate Stohr, AFH is committed to promoting "architectural and design solutions to global, social and humanitarian crises."

AFH is working on tsunami reconstruction in Asia, improvement of "tent cities" for refugees and internally displaced persons, and construction of soccer pitches in South Africa with a focus on the pitch as a place of community gathering for HIV/AIDS prevention.

These folks ain't after the Gehry or Calatrava glamour -- they're not making much (if any) money. But they understand that not only wealthy people deserve thoughtful, ecologically sound, aesthetically pleasing design. Hats are off, guys and gals.

There Go Those Liberal Colleges Again

Who knew that since 1986 Hampshire College has been home to such a valuable resource as the Population and Development Program? In a cursory glance at their online materials, I've already explored "10 Reasons Why Militarism is Bad for Queer People" and "Why the Hispanic Challenge Should Be Discredited." Take that Samuel Huntington (whose incendiary article "The Hispanic Challenge" is available online if you register for free at Foreign Policy).

Hampshire is also home to yet another phenomenal center -- the Civil Liberties and Policy Program. CLPP hosts an annual reproductive rights conference and organizes a National Day of Action that sounds pretty damn cool. Those lucky kids...

He'll Flip Ya For Real

Sometimes, but not often, Hollywood does pick the right movies to sequelize. Several reports indicate that Kevin Spacey has signed on to reprise his Keyser Soze/Verbal Kint stint from The Usual Suspects!

It appears as though an Australian barista started the rumor. I guess Kevin trusts her to make his coffee, so she must be telling the truth, right? Right? Don't burst my bubble. My team of monkeys can beat your team of monkeys.

Spinning Wheel

• In high school, I won a WBRU radio contest and the prize was a poster and soundtrack for the movie "High Art." Since then, the film has always had its own little niche in my heart (right next to "Bound"'s little niche), and I finally actually watched the damn thing on Monday. Ally Sheedy and Radha Mitchell were stunning. But the truly incredible performance was by Patricia Clarkson as the drugged out German actress Greta. This woman's filmography is incredible! Glad she's finally getting her due.


• Do I really agree with D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams about something? ESPN's inexcusable snub of D.C. in its "50 States in 50 Days" excursion needs to be challenged! Here's the web form you can use to do so. The Washington Area Frisbee Club also produced their own press release. And I thought WAFC only obtained field permits for us Ultimate players -- who knew they were political activists too?


• One of my favorite Minnesota Women's Press columnists, Susan Raffo, wrote a sassy response to the bogus research about male bisexuality that was recently released.


• The Made in Hong Kong Film Festival is back on at the Freer! "Love Eterne" is mine on Sunday.


• Will someone please explain what our House Democratic Leader is doing podcasting?


• Well, I guess deregulation of energy companies works really well, doesn't it Michigan? It led to such low-cost energy, that you ran out of funds to help poor folks not get their electricity cut off. Seems as effective as the deregulation of the airlines!


• Since I was earlier chastised for having nothing to say about the John Roberts nomination, I'll direct you to the National Women's Law Center Nomination Watch blog. There, I've said something.


• So not only is Wisconsin attacking its gay university system employees, but Hawaii is maintaining gender identity discrimination. Yeeha!

No Bugs Sucka!

This is one of the best pictures of me ever taken! I wish I could have protective netting surrounding me 24 hours a day, so no evil spiders ever invaded my personal space. Thanks, Ross!

DTWOF: The Blog

Comic genius Alison Bechdel (whose Carleton book-signing I staffed!) has her own blog! Check out Dykes to Watch Out For: The Blog -- the new hot spot loaded with super-cool dyke talk and previews of new DTWOF strips. [Found via Blogs by Women.]

Egg Cream

I am at work at 8:19 p.m. and desperately craving an egg cream. Apparently, people spend their time theorizing about the origin of the egg cream or about the origin of its curiously innacurate name. If I only had my hands on the proper ingredients, I would make this recipe, or this recipe, or this recipe, or this recipe...

United Feminists of America

According to a Washington Post article published in today's edition, feminists long ago formed a union and created a "Code of Conduct for Honorable Feminists." Well, that's not exactly what the article said, but it may as well have.

Surely your average successful lawyer has faced this dilemma: give up a career or take care of the family. But not the Chief Woman Lawyer of America -- she shouldn't quit to take care of her family, should she? What kind of message does that send? "I was on a radio show and someone called in to say, 'Would we ever see a man retire to take care of his spouse?'" says Suzanna Sherry, a law professor at Vanderbilt University who has written about O'Connor. "This is why she's never been considered a feminist's feminist. A feminist would say: 'Well, why would she do that?'"

Rule of the Code #1: Care about no one. Feminists (even 75 year old ones) are not allowed to leave their jobs to take care of any family member. Thou shalt maintain your professional standing until you die.

Corollary to Rule of the Code #1: Men never care about other people, so why should we? Men would never retire from their jobs to take care of an ailing family member. Remember that.

Her public persona in Washington was maternal, nurturing, genteel, soft. She let her granddaughter write a book about her featuring a picture on the cover of the two of them holding a teddy bear. On her clerks' door she left a Xerox of her hand with a note that read "For a pat on the back, lean here."

Rule of the Code #2: Hate stuffed animals.

Corollary to Rule of the Code #2: Be hard; do not support anyone else.

Now, I am certainly not the softest gal on the block, but I would like to think I could keep my feminist union card if ever I chose to leave a job to take care of a lover in ill health. I also would like to maintain that card in the highly unlikely event that I had a grandchild and decided to pose with it and a teddy bear. Insinuating that O'Connor would never be embraced by feminists because of loving her husband or grandchildren is ridiculous.

Not all feminists are harsh, single-minded, and selfish. Sticking with one's job is also not harsh, single-minded, and selfish. Not all men are harsh, single-minded, and selfish. Articles written from such a perspective (even if in the Style section) perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes.

And if you believe that all feminists think alike and would define feminism in the same way, I invite you to my office some time. It's a supremely blissful environment with absolutely no conflict ever.

0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,89...

Pure love =

• Fibonacci
• Alcuin's
• Beatty
• Carmichael
• Giuga
• Sheffer
• Steffensen
• Ulam
• Appell
• Asymptotic
• Stirling's
• Fourier (Now that's deep)
• Laplace
• Eisenstein
• Ballentine's
  

And the beautiful harmonics of the "Book Stacking Problem."

Modern Girl

Dear Carrie:

I just wanted to let you know that the perfomance of Sleater-Kinney last night at the 9:30 Club was one of the most intoxicating, high-flying concert experiences of my life. You own the distinction of being only the second musician to ever cause tears to well up in my eyes upon first glance or first guitar chord. No joke. I've understood the fervor of S-K fandom ever since first buying your records; now I truly get why you, Janet & Corin are idolized.

From the opening riff of "The Fox" to the blistering closing rendition of "Dig Me Out," you were stellar. And I can't thank you enough for the cathartic experience of watching you spit out the lyrics to one of the band's all-time greatest songs, "Modern Girl." It was vitriolic and I needed that.

Other highlights included chanting "Oh, you've got the darkest eyes" during "One More Hour" and getting slammed around during the energetic cover of Danzig's "Mother." And no doubt "Rollercoaster" is bound to become one of your concert anthems for years to come. Other tracks from The Woods played well live too -- "Wilderness," "Jumpers," and especially "Entertain." That song rocked!

One thing sure needs to be said -- you and your bandmates were definitely in finer form than the lackadaisical crowd (with the notable exception of the shaved-headed lass and short 40-yr old man who entertained [and pushed] me throughout).

Please make sure Janet's snare and Corin's vocal chords are okay. They both took a mighty beating last night. And tell Janet I'd like her arms.

-Sarah D.

P.S. Also pass on to the boys who opened for you that they were fully loud and semi-compelling, but need to understand that they haven't reached the realm of "jam-ability" yet. They should stick to their discrete, linear songs (which alternately sounded like Metallica, Jimi Hendrix, and the Clash -- sometimes even within the same tune) rather than waste the audience's time with jamming that grew to sound lazy and was stiflingly boring. Maybe you should give the preppy twins and the erstwhile pirate (Redbeard!) a lesson on how to jam without putting the crowd to sleep?

Orgasm Addict

Now that I have your attention, my monthly excursion to Revolution Records turned up a couple treasures:

1) The Buzzcocks: Singles Going Steady -- I bought the cassette tape of this compilation from a Coconuts record store in Franklin, MA when I was 17 or 18. It was a little too hard for me then, but it's just damn perfect now. (Hey, I was coming off a year or two of listening solely to classical music.) Between "Orgasm Addict," "What Do I Get?" and "Noise Annoys," I am in aural heaven. [Orgasm, aural, get it? Sometimes I'm so 14-yr old boy-ish.]

2) Me'shell NdegeOcello: Plantation Lullabies -- After reading a Washington Post article about this hot maven of the bass, I had to get an album. I was initially turned off by the sticker exhorting the buyer to pronounce her last name ("say it: 'n- DAY -Gay -O -CHELLO'") but decided to get over it. The appealing song titles overcame my initial hesitation: "I'm Diggin' You (Like an Old Soul Record)," "If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)," "Shoot'n Up and Gett'n High," and "Dred Loc."

Turn it up.

Call of the Lakes

Last night I attended a farewell gathering for some fellow Humphreyites who (much like myself) had ventured out to the policy world of Washington, D.C., fully doe-eyed and greener than Shinnecock. Well, as a few of us have discovered, the land of 10,000 lobbyists is not nearly as satisfying a place to live as the land of 10,000 lakes. A fellow New Englander was also in attendance and so turned to me to explain this indescribable allure of the Twin Cities and its environs. While I could come up with some concrete examples of its brilliance, I must have sounded like a blathering idiot. Cause for the most part, in my comparison between D.C. and the T.C., tangible factors did not really play into it. It's more the general "feel" of the place and the people. The general laid back vibe versus the hyper-competitive, "Let's-define-you-by-your-job" vibe. The general "It's okay for you not to shave your legs" sentiment versus "Dear, God, she's not wearing nylons" sentiment. But, there are certainly some tangibles, as well. And here they are:

• The Electric Fetus and Cheapo and Treehouse Records and Let It Be and, and ... vs. Revolution Records and Smash!: This one is no contest. From my old apartment, I could walk to any of the above Minneapolis stores. While Rev. Records is walkable, Smash! certainly isn't, and their combined selection wouldn't fit into one of Cheapo's long bins. I do owe it to Smash! for my recent acquisition of Throwing Muses' untitled debut CD, for which I'll be forever grateful, but still -- no contest. And they're located in Georgetown. Ick.

• The Walker and the M.I.A. and the Weisman vs. the Smithsonians, the National Building Museum, the National Gallery of Art, etc., etc.: Now, I know what you're going to say: How can Minneapolis possibly win in the museum category? OK, well, I guess it really can't. The Building Museum is probably the most serene, exquisite, and interesting museum I've ever been to. I love to sit in the expansive hall and read -- certainly not something I'd be caught doing in the Walker. Still, for the sheer size of the city, Minneapolis' museums are quite impressive and are more than enough to keep a less than museum-savvy gal happy. And -- due to recent shake-ups at the Corcoran -- D.C. is still without a Gehry. Score one for the T.C.

• The C.C. Club vs. ??: Yeah, it's kind of sad that there is not one bar in D.C. that I feel comfortable comparing to the C.C. Club. The dog-eat-dog D.C. thang seems to preclude the existence of any truly chill bar with a good juke box that isn't some fancy new computerized beast. Whereas, C.C.'s jukebox is full of jewels. And they serve Leinie's Honeyweiss, which D.C.'s Brickskellar can't even boast. Add in the musical history of the C.C. Club (scroll down for C.C. goodness), and it's just magical.

• Metro Transit vs. Metro: OK, neither's a gem, but let's see, an hour long ride below ground vs. an hour long ride weaving your way through the Cities? I'll take the bus. Sure, D.C. also has buses, but I have heard enough horror stories to know that they are NOT reliable. AT least not in the way that I was always able to count on my 1 a.m. bus home after my shifts at Marshall Field's.


• The Twins vs. the Nationals: The Nats are certainly growing on me. And the Metrodome is one of the very few MLB stadiums that is a worse baseball venue than R.F.K. But, I will always be an American League woman. Give me whichever team provides the greater chance of my being able to see the Sox. (That's the Twins, for you baseball novices.)


• Blue Moon and Vera's and Anodyne and Hard Times and Caffeto and the Urban Bean and Pandora's and Heavenly Daze and ... vs. Starbucks and Lawson's: Please, need I say more? Sure, D.C. also has Murky Coffee, which has the right atmosphere, but the iced coffee has never impressed me. And, it's SO far away!


• The Wedge Co-op versus Takoma Park/Silver Spring Co-op: The Wedge is bigger (though I've never visited the SS branch of TPSS) and has a better selection. I do enjoy the quaintness of the Takoma Park store (the Wedge is sometimes uber-crowded), but it really can't compete. The Wedge has fancy juices and smoothies, bad-ass vegan carrot and cheesecake, and sea beans! ;-)
  

Other personal reasons aside, isn't it clear why one would want to move back to Minneapolis?

JFK & Lincoln Got Nothin'

Say what you will about the supposedly impressive "similarities" between the lives of JFK and Lincoln -- there's a much more exciting comparison to be made between fictional leading men MacGyver and Sherlock Holmes. There are certainly more than six comparisons, but, hey, I'm not writing a thesis, so this will have to suffice. If anyone can come up with some others, please let me know.

1. Pete (RIP Dana Elcar) = Watson
2. Murdoc = Moriarty
3. Houseboat = 221B Baker Street
4. Nikki = Irene Adler
5. Hockey = Boxing
6. Harry Jackson = Mycroft

Happy F'n 40th Griswold

The landmark Supreme Court case giving (married) women right to privacy in their birth control decisions, Griswold v. Connecticut, turned 40 this week. While the case (in conjunction with the Eisenstadt v. Baird case in 1972 that extended the right to single women) has been important in terms of women's reproductive rights and health, let's not get too hyped about this over-the-hill celebration.

The attack on this fundamental right (and women's sexual behavior) is steadily increasing in state legislatures and pharmacies across the country, as this Guttmacher Institute fact sheet demonstrates. Yet, men's sexual behavior continues to be encouraged and federally FUNDED -- even if you are a sex offender, as was widely reported in the past few weeks.

But, the Viagra/sex offender scandal is just one of many instances of governmentally approved sex - if you have a penis. Of course, governments aren't the only entities working to boost male sex drives while firmly ignoring women's. Corporations are busy R&Ding new drugs & products to get it up, prolong, enhance, improve, increase sensitivity, etc.

In her most recent column in The Nation, Katha Pollitt addresses this double standard:

The only new birth control method coming up soon is actually a nostalgia item, the Today sponge, beloved by Seinfeld's Elaine, which will be returning to drugstores later this year. Two decades into the AIDS epidemic, the only woman-controlled means of protection against HIV--now the leading cause of death among black women age 25-34--is the aesthetically repulsive, cumbersome and hard-to-find female condom. Hormone replacement therapy, promoted since the 1950s as the fountain of feminine youth and sexual vitality, looks to be mostly hype, with the possibility of heart attack, stroke and breast or ovarian cancer.

And what about sex aids for women? Where's that female Viagra they're always promising us? Most newspapers didn't even report that in December an FDA panel turned down Procter & Gamble's application for Intrinsa, a testosterone patch intended to raise libido in women whose ovaries have been removed. The problem wasn't that Intrinsa didn't work (the panel voted 14 to 3 that the manufacturers' trials showed a meaningful improvement in desire and pleasure); the issue was health risks as well as the potential for "off-label use" by women who had simply lost their mojo. A "lifestyle drug" for women! Can't have that.

So, Happy 40th, Griswold. We hardly know ye.

Hot & Sticky Extraction of Daughters of Sappho

A few random items:

1. The humidity that plagues Washington, D.C. each year is rearing its ugly head. Beer bottles are sweating, children are crying, and I'm ready to die.

2. I went to the dentist this morning and was told to say goodbye to my wisdom teeth. Too bad, cause I'd grown to like my third molars.

3. There's an awesome episode of "All in the Family" on right now about a local election. It's already discussed corporate welfare, women running for political office, and gay & lesbian politics. I miss Meathead and Archie.

Terrorism v. Feminism

Barbara Ehrenreich has a fascinating take (at AlterNet) on countering terrorism with feminism. I guarantee that some of her strategies (supporting girls' education worldwide, revoking the global gag rule, etc.) would do a hell of a lot more than simply eradicate terrorism. They would improve the lives of millions of women and girls worldwide.

Carrilo-McCarver Syndrome

There seems to be a never-ending stream of star athletes or wannabe star athletes who feel it is their post-athletic career duty to squawk on national television as a commentator. In most cases, this sense of duty is a selfish desire to stay involved in the game and impart their vast wisdom to the viewing public. Also in most cases, fulfilling this duty is a mistake that causes many TV spectators either to become intimate with the mute button, or to stick a fork in their eyes. The following hacks are the folks who most inspire me to search for a cure for the Carrillo-McCarver Syndrome.

1. Mary Carillo - This woman may be a big proponent of women in sports, but her voice is grating, her analysis is obvious, and she's so obnoxious that I've had to learn to enjoy tennis without being able to hear the ball being thwacked. I'll only listen to a match that Carillo is anouncing if John McEnroe's sarcastic and thoughtful banter is around to counteract her.

2. Tim McCarver - Clearly a talented baseball player in his day, but he needs his mouth to be stapled shut while the camera is rolling. Who awarded this man 3 Emmy Awards for "Best Sportscaster/Analyst"? His mom?

3. Bill Walton - I'll put Bill on the list in honor of the conversation that inspired this post in the first place. Honestly, it's the man's toothy smile that drives me batty more than anything else.

4. John Madden & Pat Summerall - Since they're a team and all, they get ranked as a team. They deserved each other. But, I'm glad to hear Summerall's found Christ. The "Lost Christ" flyers posted in my neighborhood were getting annoying.

There are certainly more horrifyingly bad sports commentators, but I'm going to go watch the Red Sox beat the Yankees.

Jams and Gams

I think I have finally recovered from Martha Wainwright's brilliant and goofy performance Monday night at Iota: Recovered from her searing vocals that at points bordered on bursting your eardrums. Recovered from the stunning renditions of some of my favorite tracks from her new CD, including "When the Day is Short," "Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole," "Factory," and "Ball and Chain." And recovered from the adorable black tennis dress that left her standing on stage "half naked," as she described herself. When's she coming to town again?

Oh yes, and don't forget to go vote for her bro as "Best New Act" in the Mojo Honours List. If only to mock the fact that his first CD was released seven years ago in 1998!

Down Under Vaccine

Australian scientists have developed a vaccine to protect women from cervical cancer and expect it to be available late next year.

Cervical cancer is one of the few human cancers known to be directly caused by the viral infection, human papillomavirus (HPV) and up to 70 per cent of sexually active women become infected during their lifetime.

HPV causes about 470,000 cervical cancer cases worldwide a year, killing 274,000 women.

Trials of the drug Gardasil reported in the British medical journal Lancet Oncology reported it cut HPV infection rates by 90 per cent.
--From a Courier-Mail article

Hot damn this is good news! Shouldn't this have been the lead story or editorial in every newspaper over the weekend?

BASEBALL!

If you want to prove your diamond knowledge, take this test and submit your answers. If you get more than 34 points (out of a possible 36), you are a bigger baseball nerd than Jon, who is currently in first. [Honorable mentions go to Eli (33 points) and Alex and my Uncle Ben (31 points each).] And no looking up answers or calling my former coaches to dig up the dirt!

1. Going into the 2004 baseball season, which team had gone the greatest number of years without winning a World Series?
a. Boston Red Sox
b. Seattle Mariners
c. Pittsburgh Pirates
d. Chicago Cubs

2. Which team did the Washington Senators become in 1961?
a. Seattle Mariners
b. Milwaukee Braves
c. Minnesota Twins
d. Montreal Expos

3. What does it mean to “put a shift on”?
a. Garb oneself in a loose dress
b. Move the catcher to the inside half of the plate
c. Move fielders from their normal field position in a certain direction to account for a hitter’s tendency to hit to a certain part of the field
d. To send the runner on first during a “first and third” situation

4. Which Yankees jerk was roundly criticized during the 2004 ALCS for knocking the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove when Arroyo attempted to tag him out on his way to first after he hit a weak ground ball?
a. Derek Jeter
b. Jorge Posada
c. Bernie Williams
d. Alex Rodriguez

5. What is “the hot corner”?
a. Third base
b. First base
c. Homeplate
d. Second base

6. Who is the greatest St. Louis Cardinals’ pitcher of all time, having compiled a 1.12 ERA during the 1968 season?
a. Bob Forsch
b. Bob Gibson
c. Dizzy Dean
d. Cy Young

7. Which former Vice President’s collection of autographed baseballs and other memorabilia has been showcased on the West Bank of the University of Minnesota campus?
a. Al Gore
b. George Bush
c. Hubert H. Humphrey
d. Walter Mondale

8. Which baseball team plays its games at Camden Yards?
a. St. Paul Saints
b. Toronto Blue Jays
c. Florida Marlins
d. Baltimore Orioles

9. Which current Red Sox first baseman used to play for the St. Paul Saints?
a. Bill Mueller
b. Kevin Millar
c. David Ortiz
d. Trot Nixon

10. What is statistically the hardest hit to get when trying to “hit for the cycle”?
a. single
b. double
c. triple
d. home run

11. In what city is the College World Series played in?
a. Tampa, Florida
b. Austin, Texas
c. Reno, Nevada
d. Omaha, Nebraska

12. Who won the 1918 World Series?
a. Chicago Cubs
b. Boston Red Sox
c. New York Yankees
d. Brooklyn Dodgers

13. What was the name of the Washington, DC Negro League team?
a. The Senators
b. The Nationals
c. The Grays
d. The Capitols

14. What is the “clean-up hitter”?
a. The batter with the most RBIs in the game
b. The batter who agrees to sweep the clubhouse after each game
c. The batter who hits fourth in the lineup
d. The batter who hits after the pitcher (in the National League)

15. Which team defeated the Red Sox in the ever-so-painful 1986 World Series?
a. The New York Mets
b. The Philadelphia Phillies
c. The Pittsburgh Pirates
d. The Fiendish Jerks

16. When Sarah was 8 and played on the Farm League team Mailloux’s Furniture, what was the only position she did not play during her All-Star season?
a. Pitcher
b. Shortstop
c. Catcher
d. Hell Raiser

17. Which popular Pittsburgh Pirate died in a plane crash in 1972?
a. Tim Wakefield
b. Nolan Ryan
c. John Kruk
d. Roberto Clemente

18. What is the last name of the baseball brothers known for throwing knuckleballs?
a. Niekro
b. Tricky
c. Smith
d. Marshall

19. What is a “set-up man”?
a. The batter that hits before the “clean-up hitter”
b. A relief pitcher that pitches before the closer
c. The fielder that gets the first out in a double play
d. The player from the home team that has to go on a date with the visiting team’s starting pitcher

20. Which awesome baseball movie stars Robert Redford and features a bat with a lighting streak on it?
a. Bull Durham
b. A League of Their Own
c. Cobb
d. The Natural

21. Which Minnesota Twin won the Cy Young Award in 2004?
a. Shannon Stewart
b. Torii Hunter
c. Johan Santana
d. Bert Blyleven

22. Which future Hall of Fame pitcher is nicknamed “The Rocket”?
a. Roger Clemens
b. Randy Johnson
c. Greg Maddux
d. Pedro Martinez

23. Who is the most famous baseball player to hail from Woonsocket, Rhode Island?
a. Clem Labine
b. Rocco Baldelli
c. Nap Lajoie
d. Canuck Perrier

24. In 1969, which team did awesomely named starting pitchers Vida Blue and Catfish Hunter play on?
a. Oakland Athletics
b. Detroit Tigers
c. Los Angeles Dodgers
d. San Francisco Giants

25. Which former Red Sox player is the greatest traitor of all time?
a. Babe Ruth
b. Roger Clemens
c. Wade Boggs
d. Pedro Martinez

26. Which former White Sox first baseman was nicknamed “The Big Hurt”?
a. Edgar Martinez
b. Seymour Bruise
c. Frank Thomas
d. Ryan Klesko

27. In what city is the Minnesota Twins AA team, the Rock Cats, located?
a. New Britain, CT
b. Portland, ME
c. Wilmington, NC
d. Iowa City, IA

28. Which former baseball player – known for having a ball bounce off of his head into the bleachers while he was playing outfield – recently released a “tell-all” book on steroids in Major League Baseball?
a. Mark McGwire
b. Jose Canseco
c. Bo Jackson
d. Cal Ripken

29. What does it mean when a baseball player “paints the corner”?
a. Just barely hits the corner of a base while running the bases
b. Hits a ball into the far corner of a ballpark while hitting
c. Spits tobacco juice into the corner of the dugout while riding the bench
d. Just barely nicks a corner of homeplate while pitching

30. What is Sarah’s favorite position to play?
a. Third base
b. Center field
c. Shortstop
d. Pitcher

31. Which Twins Hall of Famer battled it out with Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski for the home-run lead during the 1967 season?
a. Dean Chance
b. Harmon Killebrew
c. Kirby Puckett
d. Bob Allison

32. How many innings must a starting pitcher complete in order to be credited with a win?
a. 3
b. 4
c. 5
d. 6

33. Who was the 2004 American League batting champion?
a. Bill Mueller of the Boston Red Sox
b. Torii Hunter of the Minnesota Twins
c. Derek Jeter of the New York Yankees
d. Ichiro Suzuki of the Seattle Mariners

34. Name one of the three oldest baseball stadiums still being used for MLB games.

35. Sarah had two of the nicknames below when she played fast-pitch softball. You only have to pick one to get a point for this question. {Two points if you get ‘em both!}
a. Hoover
b. Smiley
c. Hot Pants
d. Crazy Legs
e. Butch
f. Hippy

36. Who do you predict will win the World Series in 2005?

unkempt maker

aye -- a blathering blistering
meandering wandering
greener and faster and meaner and warmer

triangle the fire and lay under water
wanting and wasting and do it yourself

mysteries swollen and bile convulses
and spider erupts in your head like a split
stripping and missing

your mind in the got her aroused;
a shudder and flicker and swifter it's done

--Sarah D.

[As part of a challenge to Mark to write some of his own poems because he's been celebrating National Poetry Month, I sort of promised to write one of my own despite my almost complete dislike of poetry. So, here is my 5-minute poem for you. Deconstruct and rip apart at will.]

"You Mean Christians Are Maintaining Our Monopoly?"

A rather sizeable technology firm located in Washington state has apparently forgotten the numerous times it was awarded for its respect of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender rights -- in the workplace and in the community.

Said company has revoked its support of a LGBT rights bill in Washington due to threats of an evangelical Christian boycott of its products. HRC has already crafted a response taking them to task, though the letter to the CEO gets rather mushy at the end.

They just need to get called out for being the greedy, hypocritical, right-wing fearing cowards that they are.

B.M.F.A.

I don't know what it is about the McGarrigle/ Wainwright clan, but they sure are continuing to be a compelling bunch of independently talented weirdos. The new release from Martha Wainwright [S/T] is just another example of such talent and certainly demonstrates that Rufus isn't the only child in the family who knows how best to illustrate his or her vocal stylings.

Besides the fan favorite from her EP of the same name, "Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole," Martha offers up a bunch of similarly cathartic tunes throughout the album, her first full-length. "When the Day is Short" is a personal favorite. Certainly not a compilation of songs that will fit every mood, but when it's right, it's perfect.

The only negative that's come out of Martha's solo career -- as far as I can tell -- is that she and Rufus have been less likely to be found touring together. And as anyone who's seen them together on a stage knows, they're one hot musical bro-and-sis duo. Perhaps Martha will make some guest appearances while Bro tours with Ben Folds this summer?

Corky, look out!!

Thank goodness my beloved little gray and white mangy cat, Corky, does not live in Wisconsin. According to news reports, the Wisconsin Conservation Congress recently voted in favor of removing feral felines from the endangered species list. Luckily, there are a couple more hoops for the cat-killers to jump through before it's officially done, and people don't seem to think the legislature will actually change the animal cruelty laws. So it'll be a while before stray tabbies need to start stockpiling bulletproof vests, if at all.

But still, people. I understand that cats can be a nuisance, but in no way should they be hunted. And who decides which cats "look" feral and which ones don't? If Corky were running around La Crosse, I guarantee she would be shot - she's a raggedy bag of bones with hair clumps the size of baseballs. She's old. She's gross. You'd never guess she's a "domesticated" cat.

Hunters are certainly one group I do not trust to show discretion and restraint.

On the upside, I'm glad to know there are groups out there like the Alley Cat Allies and Don't Shoot the Cat who are working around the clock to protect the little rascals. And to buy them body armor.

Interview Mutation

I encourage you all to go to the closest bookstore that you can find listed on this website and purchase the current issue of Rockrgrl magazine.

Do this for a few reasons:

1) Most importantly because there is an interview with Kristin Hersh written by a super talented writer who can convincingly allude to "anthems shaking the stalagmites of Hades" without making you laugh out loud. [Or maybe not; apparently some people do laugh...]

2) The picture of Sally Timms on p. 35 that has some people drooling into their beer...I'm not one of them, but you should check it out anyway.

3) The ad for everyone's favorite feminist-owned sex toy store in Minneapolis, the Smitten Kitten, found on p. 39.

Ordinances and Obituaries

Andrea Dworkin, feminist and censor extraordinaire, died April 9th. So why can I only locate one obituary in the news [the Guardian's]?

Her official website has a memorial all set up, but -- as far as I can tell -- the U.S. media has been silent. Nothing in the New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, CNN...you get the picture.

I'm getting the distinct impression that either the media is abandoning her now that she has no more controversial quotes to offer, or they're waiting to get the results of her autopsy. I like mysteries; her cause of death seems to be one. I guess we'll have to wait until the news media decides to report on her to find out what happened.

[Update: This morning the Post and the Times had obituaries. Perhaps I was being too impatient last night?]

Speak Up!

Come on, my sister bloggers, let's show these boys what we've got! [Of course, the much larger issue that's been circulating lately is on women's [lack of] representation on editorial pages, not in the blogosphere, but this article offers up at least one good strategy for increasing our influence in any contest of opinions.]

At the "Women and the Media Conference" this past Saturday in Cambridge, Mass., hosted by The Center for New Words, Nelson said the solution is
"cross-pollinating" efforts with a continued push for space for women in the
established press as well as in Internet news outlets and blogs.

The Web blogs so popular with Generation Y--and now deemed worthy of press credentials by the White House--are the cyberspace answer to individual
newsletters, cable-access shows and ham radio. All of these offer a wide-open
range for opinion makers to bypass gate-keeping editors who seem to "just say
no" to the women who come along...

..."Given how corporate media is, for us to expect The New York Times to change is not going to happen," said AlterNet's Chaudhry. "We need to empower ourselves with blogs. Not only will we have our voices heard but we have access to the kind of women we want to read it."

Female bloggers need to link to each other and other outlets of women's opinions, print journalists need to support each other's editorial efforts and keep making noise by sending in queries, well-researched and written columns and knocking on the big doors at least as often as do the men.

Instead of disappearing into the back of the room again, we must push the issue. Though many female journalists are opining 1,000 illuminated points of view in the media galaxy, unless we cluster our stars together into a fireball, we will not be seen by the major telescopes.

--From a Women's eNews story by Michele Weldon

Controlling Clock Skew

Apparently clock skew has something to do with generating randomness. Don't ask me what; I just like how the term rolls of my tongue. But in honor of controlling clock skew, here are some random items I came across today:

• It's National Sleep Awareness Week! Activities include a "Public Policy and Sleep Leadership Forum" and a "Healthy Sleep Community Award" competition. No mention of skewering any alarm clocks, however.
• Emily & CJ have their own blogs, which are now in the Blogs sidebar located to your right. Word on the street is they're getting married.
• Mark got a little cheeky about the Schiavo uproar.
• Lesbians and bisexual women are underestimating their risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases, according to a Guttmacher Institute report.
• The Washington Post has an extensive feature on the D.C. Police Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit. Did the recent murder of Wanda Alston, a local GLBT activist, have anything to do with prompting this article? Probably, and that's a shame that it took a murder to bring public notice to the Unit and its work.
• An Idaho Planned Parenthood chapter can declare victory after a District Court affirms a lower court's decision about a vicious law concerning abortion and parental consent.
• And, finally, everybody's favorite Willy Wonka publishes an autobiography.

Disgruntled Doctors Rock

When did Tuesday night TV get so good? Not since the days when Rescue 911 graced TV sets across the nation have I been so eager to sit in front of the tube on Tuesday nights. [Thinking about William Shatner declaring in his deep voice, "We begin on a cold night in November in suburban Milwaukee..." still makes my heart jump. Will the robber realize she's hiding under the blanket? Will the boy's leg get removed from the drain before he drowns?]

And now on Tuesday we have American Idol. No need to dish about that here because enough gets said about that show already. [Go Bo Bice!]

Everyone knows the real draw on Tuesday nights, though, is House, M.D., starring the ever-so-captivating Hugh Laurie. Not only has his portrayal of House captured the hearts of those of us who can't help but love brainy curmudgeons, but he's also a bestselling author and a former classmate of Emma Thompson and Stephen Fry at Cambridge. Oh yeah, and I hear his performance in Blackadder is something to check out.

People keep saying House is the best hospital drama since ER. Well, folks, ER wasn't that great, so I think you mean it's the best hospital drama since Chicago Hope. I'd like to see you pit Adam Arkin, Mandy Patinkin, and Hugh Laurie against George Clooney, that bespectacled guy, and that doctor with the cane, and you just see who wins.

P.S. Tuesday night TV is closely followed by Thursday night TV in awesomeness. The O.C. vs. House is increasingly becoming less of a competition in my book. Don't tell Alex.

Republican March Madness

Some junior staffer in the House Democratic office got a little creative. Check out the second annual GOP March Madness bracket to pick which "special interest priority is the biggest outrage."

If You Build It...

For all other architect junkies out there, check out this fantastic web resource: The Great Buildings Collection. They even celebrate a "Building of the Day" and some "Greatest Hits"!

The site also has a great search function, which you can use to search by architect, building, or place. Or you can browse by any of those categories, which is what I did to find the above beautiful geodesic dome designed by Buckminster Fuller and Shoji Sadao for the US Pavilion at Expo '67, which is located in Montreal. Sweet.

Who Are You Inclined to Believe?

The United States has said soldiers at a Baghdad checkpoint "attempted to warn the driver to stop by hand and arm signals, flashing white lights, and firing warning shots in front of the car," it said. "When the driver didn't stop, the soldiers shot into the engine block which stopped the vehicle, killing one and wounding two others."

But Italian Foreign Minister Gianfranco Fini told his parliament Tuesday that the car was not speeding and was not ordered to stop by U.S. troops at a checkpoint.

[Click here for full Washington Post article.]

I know who has my vote.

Pit Stop Jacket

For all Red Sox fans who want to look sharp and have an extra $100 lying around, click on the picture to order this swell jacket. Maybe Kevin Millar will don one when he appears on Queer Eye.

P.S. For all Red Sox fans who want to look sharp, want me to look sharp, and have an extra $200 lying around, I'll take a Small.

I Like This Band

Yeah, that's right. I like Guns N' Roses. A whole lot, in fact. "Mr. Brownstone," "Patience," and "Sweet Child O' Mine" -- some of my all-time favorite songs. "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" and "Since I Don't Have You" -- two of my all-time favorite covers. I even own The Spaghetti Incident. Yeah, I'm that big a fan.

So, what's prompting this sorta defensive spiel about G N' R? Well, see, I'm a feminist. And G N' R is one of the most notoriously misogynistic bands to have ever existed. "Have you not heard the lyrics to 'I Used to Love Her'?" I am frequently asked. Actually, yes I have, and it's a goddamn funny song. ACK! Did I just say that?

See, I've been tagged (correctly) as someone easily incensed by anti-women sentiments. Thus, I often have to justify my love of a band that seemingly spews such sentiments from their very pores. But good music is good music, and I can't deny that G N' R and all their blessed mid-song transitions make me wonder in amazement and awe. Sure, some of their lyrics make me want to hurl, but only while my eyes are simultaneously glazed over in music-lover heaven. And I sure as hell will not stop listening to them no matter how our views on women clash.

Which brings me to my next point...and I do have one.* Thanks to Jon, I now definitively possess the knowledge that my beloved "Idiots" love Bush. (And not the good kind, FYI.) Sure, we all knew about Schilling, and, let's face it, Timlin was no surprise, but the rest of the guys? Couldn't someone have leaked their disgust about having to meet the guy? I guess I'm still holding out hope that Millar and Damon were just being polite, but I'll admit that's a long shot.

So I'm ready to renounce my Red Sox loyalty, right? Nope, not even if the team holds a parade in Bush's honor on International Women's Day. As I may have indicated before, in my mind baseball and politics don't mix. Am I happy that my team is Republican? Obviously not. But that doesn't diminish the love that's steadily grown for them over 24 years. And I doubt anything could.

Which brings me to a third and final recent instance when I wanted to forget any social conscience I may have: Million Dollar Baby. Since I'm on so many listservs, I've been "treated" to a slew of passionate discussions about this movie, mostly surrounding the gender and disability-rights elements. It's a movie, kids. With characters and plots and perspectives you may not agree with, but it's still a movie. Creative license and all. Can't we just leave it at that?

OK, so maybe this discussion isn't fair of me. After all, can I really expect to have it both ways? Is it fair to be an uber-feminist when it suits me, and then want to forget my politics when it's time to enjoy music, sports, or film? Maybe not. These are important issues and perhaps I should be consistent.

But sometimes I want a song to be just a song; a baseball team to be just a baseball team; and a movie to be just a movie. No strings attached. No longwinded discussions. And no defensive explanations for why burying your wife in the backyard can be supremely funny.

[*That was a nod to Ellen, for those of you not in the know.]

Where I Hang My Hat(s)

Woonsocket, RI
Condotopia in Woonsocket: Editorial from the Providence Journal - Friday, February 18, 2005

Things are bursting out condos in Woonsocket, and one reason may not be hard to find -- a few miles to the northeast, housing prices are booming in the Boston metro area. That's good news for Woonsocket, and all of Rhode Island.

Four completed projects have produced 287 condominiums, three projects with up to 42 condominiums are being built, and four projects with 148 condominiums are being planned. None of these condos are "affordable" units, subsidized by the state's taxpayers -- although to many refugees from the housing crisis in Massachusetts, they may seem that way. More than two-thirds of the completed condos have been sold to former Massachusetts residents -- newly minted Rhode Islanders...

...The infusion of residents downtown should support more and better shops and restaurants than the current tattoo parlors and other small enterprises. This, in turn, will make the city even more attractive to potential Rhode Islanders from north of the border.

It should be noted that 10 of the 11 projects are rehabs of old mills or other historic structures, including a courthouse and a police station. Several of the developers either have secured or are applying for state historic-preservation tax credits, without which the developments -- and their expected local and state economic spinoff -- might not be financially feasible...

Well, thank goodness none of the new units are "affordable"! It would be a real travesty to have low income residents living in beautiful new apartments, wouldn't it?

Also, note the comparison of "better shops and restaurants" to "tattoo parlors and other small enterprises," in which I read "local, ethnic, and struggling businesses." I've heard ProJo was conservative; this editorial proves it.

Minneapolis, MN
This looks to be an awesome event on March 3rd, found through OutFront MN:

Quadriga and Workplace Alliance sponsor "Is your Passport Current? Societal Reactions to GLBT People from the Holocaust to the Present", featuring discussion and a presentation by GLBT historian J. Nicholas Tretter, GLBT Collections Specialist at the U of M offering a historical examination of the plight of GLBT people during the Nazi Holocaust, and how the extreme bigotry of that time may inform our current situation, at Trikkx Nightclub, 490 North Robert Street in downtown St. Paul from 5-7 p.m. Free and open to the public. Contact: (612) 822-0127 x111 or wpa@outfront.org.

I can personally vouch for the expertise and sheer generosity of J. Nicholas Tretter and the Tretter Collection at the U of M. He helped me with a research project, producing a fantastic male shower room scene lunchbox from the Vietnam War era.

Check out the always fantastic "Feminist Finds Issue" of the Minnesota Women's Press.

Washington, DC
As always, the National Building Museum provided an entertaining visit on Saturday. I've never seen it so crowded, especially with energetic tykes so into science and engineering. It almost made me not hate kids.

And, finally, my local record stores churned out a pretty good selection this past weekend. Herman's Hermits and the Distillers top the list.

Take Your Testimony and Shove It

From a Press Release:

Today, Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney (NY) was denied an opportunity to speak or submit testimony at a public hearing held by the Justice Department that was scheduled to gather public comment on its National Protocol for Sexual Assault Medical Forensic Examination. Instead of accepting Congresswoman Maloney’s statement or written testimony, she was asked to leave by an official who suggested that if she did not leave security would be called.

Congresswoman Maloney was at the meeting to call attention to the glaring omission of Emergency Contraception in the Justice Department's first ever national protocol on treatment for victims of sexual assault.

Unfortunately, Maloney was not allowed to speak, even though she was the only Member of Congress present. Rep. Maloney was also refused the right to submit or even leave her written testimony at the site. A representative of the Justice Department threatened to call security if Rep. Maloney did not remove herself from the room.

Yes, Rep. Carolyn Maloney is rather threatening looking, isn't she:

Cure for Insomnia:

A concert featuring Minnesota's own beloved band, Low.

"Sing me to sleep..."

Hardscrabble City

It's a special day when your middle school French teacher and drama club coach is quoted in the New York Times. One question: which are we - "hardscrabble" or "sleepy"? Is it possible for a city to be both?